I messaged Ellie and told her about Alison’s plan for afternoon tea, because she’s the only person I’ve talked to about it, and she said it sounded hilarious, as long as I didn’t tell Stephen. I said I never would, and nothing happens anyway, except for being served by a nude man. That doesn’t count as infidelity in my book.

I can’t think of anyone else that might be interested. I definitely can’t ask any of the women I work with because the conversation might always turn to my own little kink.

I also saw Mel at the park run this morning, and she seemed okay. It’s hard to tell with Mel because she seems kind of stand-offish a lot of the time. She said I should come over on Monday anyway, and then after the run she actually hung around for a few minutes and asked me how things were generally, and whether I’d seen Mark or Ana, which I haven’t.

And I’m finally on top of the house cleaning! That’s the good news. The bad news is the bill for the work, which is putting a bit dent in my savings. I wonder if work will give me a bonus or something for the new client.

I took the rubbish out earlier and Alison saw me out of the window and waved, and a minute later she knocked on the door. She said it had been a while and it would be nice to have me after for an afternoon tea again, and also that if I had any other “open minded” female friends who would like to come along I should let her know, because it would be nice to have more women there, but she didn’t think her own friends would appreciate it! I don’t know why she thinks my friends would but I said I’d have a think.

It was nice to have a quiet evening home by myself.

We got good news at work that the Belarusian company wants to move forward with us! So I’m currently the talk of the office and held up as example of how everyone can bring in business no matter what position they’re in! Telling them that it’s very much down to who I know not what I know is really going to spoil the image. Anyway, we went out for a drink to celebrate, and I ended up talking to Jo and a couple of the other directors, and somehow my dream of getting into offshore tax accounting feels a step closer.

When I got home I messaged Ana to say thanks for whatever she did, and she said she didn’t really do much except mention my name and that I was highly recommended, and that I could thank her properly next time I saw her. I was feeling both tipsy from drinks and flirty from not having had any kind of sex for weeks so I asked how I should thank her and she said she’d think of something that we’d both enjoy. So now I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep.

Maybe it’s too late to worry about who’s seeing photos of me, but I am a bit nervous about them finding their way back to work somehow. There’s no point asking Elise to take them off of her pub’s Facebook page now because they’ve been copied to other sites. But I am wondering if I should pull out of my repeat performance at the end of this month.

I managed to embarrass myself at work today by accidentally calling Ha “Mistress Ha” in front of Jo. It’s not like I even have to now, since I’m not living with them, but it became habit in just those few days. I pretended it was a joke because she was so bossy, which is kind of true.

And I’m still tidying up after builders when I get home. There’s dust everywhere!

Ha said today that she and Lily were missing me being around the place. It was a nice (fun) week with them, but I still like my own space, although I didn’t say it quite like that to Ha.

I had Pilates this evening, and then when I got back home I had a message from ENFBoyfriend. He said he didn’t know if I’d seen, but there were some new photos of me up and posted the link. I was dreading what it was and it turned out to be from my night of cabaret stripping at Elise’s pub! There was a picture of me and her, with me just wearing the c-string and nipple pasties, and the same with me and Mel, and then a couple of scenes of the pub with everyone dressed up and me looking like I was naked, unless you looked really closely. Underneath one of them was a link to Facebook, and it was the page for the pub. I never realised Elise was going to put some of those photos up publicly! I mean, I guess I should have thought about it, but it feels too close to being able to identify me now.

I’m wondering why I just don’t upload everything now and give in. At least I’d know where I was, and it would lift my curse (which is how I’m beginning to think of Mel’s celibacy restriction).

I haven’t replied to the message yet.

Lunch with Ana didn’t happen last week but it did spontaneously today, and I have to say I felt kind of weird to start with. I mean, we’ve been intimate in ways of not been with anyone, let alone another woman, but that’s always been with Mark around. I wasn’t sure how to act and I felt really tight.

But she seemed totally fine as if it was just the most normal thing in the world, and I just had to ask: how do I fit in with her and Mark? She smiled and asked me if it was my first polyamorous relationship, and I said I didn’t even know that’s what it was. She said it wasn’t officially, but that Mark liked me, and I liked Mark, and she liked me, and she hoped I liked her. I said I liked her quite a lot, and not just because of the fun we’ve had. I couldn’t help but wonder why Sarah still doesn’t but still: some people just don’t click.

But then I got a bit more explanation of it all, and a promise to talk some more. But she said we weren’t committed, so if I wanted to see people that would be fine too (although I’ve no idea who I’d see), but they would both like to have me over at their place again, and Mark said he had a great time at mine and Ana said maybe the two of us could have a girl’s night out sometime. I’ve got no idea whether I’m coming or going now but it was a hotter conversation than I’m used to over lunch and it made it hard to concentrate for the afternoon.

I mentioned the Belarusian company that had come into the office and she said she’d reminded them about me, and not to worry it was from the first (clothed) event and not the second (naked) one so my secret was safe. At least that’s one less thing to think about.

I wonder if I’m in trouble because Mel cancelled this evening on me. It was my turn to help her rather than a coaching session so I guess her loss.

The good part of that is that I still had a lot to do at home to tidy up after the builders. It’s quite a change going from being nude for a long period of time at Ha and Lily’s to actually being clothed all day today, both at work and whilst cleaning, because it turns out that a layer of fabric between yourself and both dirt and strong cleaning products is a useful thing.

Dinner wasn’t what I’d expected, because the guests turned out to be Sarah, George and Mel! I don’t think they’re trying to set me up with Mel because they must know she has a boyfriend even if they don’t know about everything else.

George, as usual, tried not to stare at me but didn’t manage. Sarah was her usual outrageous self, and Mel is always quieter in these group gatherings than when I see her alone. And at some point Ha brought up the life coaching, and Mel said I’d been coming over there on Mondays for life coaching once week and helping out with accounts and other things the next. Ha and Lily both glanced at my wrists when “Monday” was mentioned, even though they’re not red even a few hours later, and I realised that they were putting things together in their mind. Mel is discreet, though, I’ll give her that.

But Ha is very much not discreet and mentioned Mark and Ana, and Mel said she’d heard about Mark but not Ana, and I got the feeling I was going to have a much harder session with her next time for not telling her the whole story. Sarah found it hilarious and said she thought I was interested in Mark and I’d be way better for him than Ana, who she doesn’t like, but if I can have them both then that’s up to me.

I tell you what: having everyone talk about your relationships and find out all the pieces that only some of them knew is more embarrassing than any amount of nakedness.

Apart from that it was a nice evening, though, and I kind of forgot I was naked most of the time, which is sometimes good and sometimes a shame.

This morning I spent my last breakfast nude with Ha and Lily, and then they helped me bring my stuff over. The builders have gone but the place is a tip and I’ve just been tidying all day and there’s still more to do.