I did something I haven’t done for ages today and went clothes shopping. It’s definitely winter, and that means more sweaters. I found a jumper dress that I really liked and then realised I have one from last year that I haven’t worn anywhere near enough.

But since I seem to be having a bit of a coat-and-nothing-else phase, I did find a new one: beige, but closes right up to the neck. It buttons down to below the waist and only ends around the knee, so with that and a pair of stockings I can look completely dressed and no-one will ever guess there’s nothing underneath. I know that’s not exactly exhibitionist, but I’m already looking forward to it.

I saw Mel at the run today and she reminded me about Monday, and also reminded me about the house rules (ala “no clothes in the apartment). I don’t know why but just giving in to them is a bit of a thrill.

Then when I got back home I had a note from the Alison in the flat opposite asking if I wanted to come over for tea and cake tomorrow morning. She left her number on it so I texted a reply to say that would be nice, mainly because I’m curious.

The drinks with Ellie were nice, if I still feel a bit sad. She said she knew things are never the same when a friend gets into a relationship because you don’t see them as much, but she hoped we could carry on doing what we were doing, and that she’d try to make it up for me by whatever dare I was going to come up with. It was odd that it still sounded a bit sexual, though, because I would have thought her new man would take up all her energy. I wonder how far things have gotten. (I didn’t want to ask.)

Anyway, we only got together for a short time because she was going on to see some friends. She did invite me along but I wasn’t really feeling up to it.

I had a briefing with Tim today so I went for as short a skirt as I dared and stockings again. I get the feeling he’s really into that kind of thing. I just wish I had my own office so I could “accidentally” let an extra blouse button pop open while we were talking. It’s funny, because he seems quite flustered when I’m talking to him, like he’s never even talked to a girl before!

Then I went out for a quick lunch with Ha and she said Lily had given her a good grilling over the night I stayed over (because it was obvious to tell I had). Apparently Lily also quite liked the suggestion that I move in with the two of them and do chores to pay my way! I said I could guess what kind of outfit I’d be wearing while I did them, and Ha said what made me think I’d have an outfit? She’s such a flirt even and I think the fact that I’ve never shown even a bit of interest in her (or maybe only the smallest bit) just encourages it.

My Pilates teacher told me I’d improved a lot late tonight! And that I seemed to have quite a bit of energy. I think it’s because I’m suddenly friskier than a cat on heat.

I spotted the guy opposite walking around in the nude again when I got home, so I stayed clothed. They don’t even bother closing the curtains now. I kind of wonder what they think me coming over there might have meant now.

I also got a message from Ellie and I’m meeting her after work on Friday for a quick drink.

I had a dream last night that Mel worked at the office and her rules applied there as much as at her place. I was behind on a load of client work and Mel told Jo that I wasn’t allowed to masturbate until I caught up. While I was typing Jo stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders and then she ended up with them on my breasts and I felt like I was going to orgasm. That’s when I woke up.

It made my catch-up meeting with Jo today seem a bit odd, because it was all I could think about. And I swear I wouldn’t even want to masturbate yet if Mel hadn’t said anything.

On the one hand things have changed about my session with Mel on Monday night, but on the other hand not so much.

I turned up at her flat sometime after six and she buzzed me in. It almost felt weird standing outside her door with my clothes on, now that our Pilates thing was over, but still she made me wait a minute. And then she opened the door, looked me up and down disapprovingly, and said: “Have you forgotten our rules?”

I tried to protest that I hadn’t realised she meant for that rule to continue, but from the way she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed across her chest that she had expected nothing to change.

So I had to hurriedly undress in her hallway. She took each item from me as I removed it, and she even made me take my shoes off before she let me inside. There was something very disarming about removing absolutely everything as she watched.

Once inside we went to a room I hadn’t visited before which was Mel’s office. It was fairly small with a computer desk and two chair, one at the desk and the other to one side which I took. It was comfortable and we ended up sitting opposite each other maybe a couple of feet apart.

Then the quizzing began in earnest. Mel asked me what I wanted from career (not sure), love (not sure. Maybe meet someone?), general happiness (aren’t they the same?) and wouldn’t let up without getting some kind of answer out of me, or if I was vague another question followed. And over time I was just answering every question she asked no matter how personal. All the while Mel was jotting it down in a notepad.

It was quite an experience because some of those things I haven’t thought about anywhere near enough (obviously). It lasted maybe an hour, all the while with me sitting there meekly in the nude as it felt like there wasn’t a single part of my body or soul that Mel couldn’t examine in as much detail as she liked.

Then as an hour passed she said she had plenty to think about and we would put together an action plan, but that was it for this week.

I asked her about her accounts, which was my part of the bargain, and she said I would be doing those next week.

When Mel stood I did too, she moved towards the door and before I knew it I was back in the hallway with coat, skirt and blouse over my arm and shoes in my other hand. I dressed as hurriedly as I could and came home.

It’s weird, because this week she didn’t lay a single hand on my body, but I feel like she’s touched me on a much deeper level. And that’s what I meant when I meant things have changed, but not in the way I thought they would.

Oh, but apparently no masturbating allowed this week. That’s one rule I really wish Mel had omitted.