I decided I needed some retail therapy today so I went shopping. I bailed on buying a really nice raincoat because it was nearly two-hundred pounds, but I’m kind of regretting it because I can imagine wearing nothing underneath it and still being nice and warm. Actually, I realised that everything I looked at was with a view to either a) could I get away with wearing nothing underneath it and b) would it feel good against bare skin. Clothes get more expensive that way, it seems, because the nicest fabrics cost the most.
I also resisted a pair of boots, because I haven’t really worn the knee-high boots from last winter enough yet! And I have my ankle boots. Unlike the coat, I think skipping those was wise, because I really don’t need any more boots.
In the end I only came back with a skirt and a really nice soft merino wool sweater that’s going to feel great against my skin. But I suppose money I didn’t spend is money saved…
Home late because I went out for drinks after work. I ended up talking to some people I didn’t know that well and it was nice to spread my wings a bit. No romantic potential, unfortunately, because most of them are at least ten years older, and there are a couple that are a few years younger. Or maybe it’s fortunate because I’m quite enjoying the simple life at the moment where I’ve only got myself to worry about.
I felt good when I came home so I kicked off my boots and coat and clothes in the hallway and spend the rest of the evening in the nude watching Netflix. I don’t know if the people opposite can see in, now that it’s dark enough in the evening to need a lamp or two on, but I don’t care either. If they haven’t worked out I like to hang around in my own flat naked by now then maybe they never will!
“I’d read that sexual arousal increases testosterone and boosts performance, and as a personal trainer it was my duty to get the most out of my clients.”
The wind and rain really came down today and it hit me that summer is pretty much over, and with it there’d be fewer opportunities to show a bit of skin in the sun. Still, long boots and a coat (and nothing else) is a look with a lot to recommend it so maybe I should look on the positives.
Ha asked if I had any plans for the weekend and said I could come over if I wanted. I’m actually looking forward to a couple of days of doing nothing and chilling on my own.
I miss the days of going into the start-up and being able to be someone else. Even though so much has changed in the office since Jo arrived, like being able to wear nice clothes and not just grey skirts and white blouses, it’s hard to completely reinvent yourself, and I feel like such a different person to who I was a year ago. I need to find an outlet for it somehow. But I think being able to sit naked in the office is probably a while off…
It was an interesting lunch with Jo, where we started talking about work but ended up gossiping about dating and how useless men seemed to be. She said another promising set of dates had lead nowhere and perhaps she should just give up and start her cat collection early. I said it’s never too early and maybe I’d start too.
I attacked Pilates with renewed vigour this evening too. I know that’s not the point of Pilates, but hey.
“If you’re ever tempted to get up early and go skinny dipping in the hotel room, make sure you keep an eye on your towel and your room keys.”
I had a giggle with Ha about the Friday night out today. I wasn’t expecting to feel this good so soon after a break-up! Even Jo said it was good to see me back to my usual self again. Little did she know that my usual self was back to a dress without underwear, and it felt so good! There was a guy eying me on the way home and I flashed a little smile at him (because I couldn’t work out how to flash anything else). He was a bit old for me but it was nice to get attention.
I’m feeling motivated about work again so I arranged a lunchtime meeting with Jo tomorrow, because if she’s going to be managing me it would be good to have some idea about what the company’s planning and to see if I can step up my game.
I spent the morning with Rachel catching up on her clients, which were mainly okay but there were a few technical things I corrected her on. Even that made me feel good about myself like: hey, I know something!
Extra day off! It’s a holiday today so I went to see my mum and she made a nice dinner and my older brother came over with his wife and kids. I realised I hadn’t even told anyone about Kieran, so maybe I knew all along! Funny.
It was nice spending some time with the family, but six hours is plenty, especially with a three and a five year old running around. I can’t ever imagine having the energy to look after kids that age.
“I’d been commissioned to write a piece on attitudes to public nudity, and it seemed pretty obvious to me that what people say in the abstract might differ greatly to how they reacted when faced with a nudity in the flesh. I have to admit I spent more time researching it than was strictly necessary.”