I felt so much better today. Not just the hangover, but about myself and everything, and I hung around in the nude, did chores and then read some smutty stories and kept myself generally happy.
The only downer was a message from Kieran. It looked like it started with a “hope you’re okay” but I deleted it without reading the rest and blocked the number.
My head hurts! I can’t be the only one, given how much wine we got through last night.
It was a lot of fun and almost worth it (I think). It’s the first time I really chatted to Mel and she seemed a lot friendlier than before. I nearly cried at some point just because everyone was being so nice to me about the break-up, and just as I was holding it together Mel put her hand on mine and said I should let her know if I needed anything.
Sarah was outrageous, considering she’s in a long-term relationship with George. She kept on flirting with guys, and then she’d tell them that her boyfriend wouldn’t approve but they should come and talk to me because I was newly single! I didn’t really want to talk to any guys last night so in a moment of madness, I think because Ha was there with Lily and was able to turn attention away very quickly by saying they were together, I started telling them that Sarah was leading them on and I was fully committed to my relationship with Mel! She took it well enough.
I don’t think I’m going to be doing much with this hangover today, though.
“Strip ping pong was his idea, because he thought he was good at it. But we just never let him win a single point.”
Girl’s night out tonight, and I’m not sure I can handle it without breaking down at some point! And I seem to have forgotten about the whole “being an exhibitionist” thing this week too. I’ve even been wearing underwear, which seems a bit weird after all this time, although I realise that now I’ve done a load of exercise to make sure I look passable naked that I look loads better in bra and knickers than I used to! So I’ve actually got quite a nice but rather conservative dress on today. Maybe I’ll pull! Although I’m not sure I actually want to.
I’ll write about the night out tomorrow anyway.
I had a meeting today with Jo in her office, and she said that if I was having a hard time at all then I could take a few days to myself. I said I didn’t need to, but ended up weeping a bit in her office while I told her about it. It was when I told her that it was most definitely over, no going back, that just brought it all out.
She said I’d been really kind to her when her partner had split and she wanted to repay it, and even more if possible. And then she said if I wanted to talk outside of work then I should let her know, or even if I just wanted to get drunk and forget about it we could do that. What is it with everyone thinking the first thing I’m going to do is drink my problems away, eh? Ah yes: they all know me too well :).
“We were meant to dress from any period we liked. I chose prehistory.”
So Ha has organised a “girl’s night out” on Friday, with Lily, Sarah (without her partner) and Mel (who I still don’t really know). I hope I’m up to it.
I put some extra effort into Pilates this evening, because I guess if I’m going to have to find myself another man then I need to get myself into better shape! Lol.
Well, today I had Jo ask me if I was okay because I seemed a bit down, and then I ended up having a bit of a weep in the bathroom. It’s not that I’m really sad about Kieran in particular, but it’s just the end of something that I thought was going to be so good and it’s just gone the complete opposite way. It’s more annoying that it was quite good for a long time. Live and learn, I guess.
When I got back Ha sent me a message again saying that either a) she’d sit me down and make me talk about it or b) we had to go out and get hammered to forget about it. I said maybe I’d do (b) on Friday.