I thought Ben was actually out last night when I got to Kieran’s and was naked as soon as we got to his room, and then when I went to the kitchen there he was! He doesn’t even say anything about it now, but I can feel him watching me. It’s nice. I asked him about Helen but she was away for the weekend.
Then somehow we ended up playing a board game and drinking wine, with me nude all the while! It was lovely because half the time I forgot about it, and the other half I remembered because either Ben or Kieran would be gawping at my boobs wobbling over the board as I moved my pieces around. It was a bit of a complicated game (something about Catan?) that Ben knew, but I think my body was a distraction for them as I still won. And Kieran came last, which made me feel good because I think he doesn’t appreciated I can be quite clever sometimes (but only sometimes).
Kieran says he doesn’t know where Ha is booking either, but I think he does but just isn’t telling me.
“My man’s clothes weren’t sparking any kind of joy, so I made sure I never saw them.”
I’m going around to Kieran’s this afternoon and we’re just staying in and cooking and whatever. I like being around there was there’s always the chance that Ben or his girlfriend Helen might be there.
“I love the relaxed attitudes to nudity that bless so many European countries.”
I went out in the garden in just my knickers today to get the washing in. Don’t know if anyone saw me, but I don’t really care either. I’m just going to wear as much or as little as I like at home from now on and if people don’t like it then they can look away.
I tried asking Ha about the holiday today and she said she’d book somewhere this week. She still wouldn’t tell me where.
“I’d been taking private lessons and apparently my dancing lacked passion. My tutor found a remedy.”
While I was at the PR place today Ellie called me over and showed me a photo she’d found. It was from the naked bike ride, at the end of the day, and it was just me sitting around in the nude with Kieran and Ha and Lily all dressed still! There’s not even anything showing that it was from the bike ride so it looks very weird.
Then Ellie asked me what my friends thought about it and I realised she was digging for information, and I was quite happy to provide it. I might have gone too far, but I think she might be a bit like me so I said not to tell anyone else but I said that half the time at home I didn’t get dressed and now they’ve seen me like that so many times nobody cares. That isn’t quite the truth as I think they all care, but nobody complains. She said it must be nice to have close friends you can share something like that with, which is true.
I get the feeling she’d really like to be in my position and now I feel like I have a project to get her on the same track. A year ago I would never believe I’d be where I am now, so with a bit of encouragement she could get there even quicker!
Now I just have to stop worrying about who at the office might find that photo of me in the nude. My only hope is that anyone who does find it is too embarrassed to say why they were looking on that kind of web site in the first place!
“‘Don’t worry,’ I told him, ‘I’ll give them back if we hear anyone coming.'”
Jo said something to me today about the holiday with Ha. I said I was going with Kieran and Ha was taking her girlfriend and then I wondered if I shouldn’t have said that! She asked me where we were going and I said I didn’t know yet as Ha was booking it all, and Jo said I was very trusting! Maybe she knows Ha quite well after all, because perhaps I should be suspicious – not for any bad reason, but I wouldn’t put it past her to put me on the spot somehow.