Pilates day kind of feels like a weird day, because I wear a lot more clothes than any other day. But, for a change, I actually felt pretty energetic in it. I think the dance session with Mel put some fitness into me!
Another day of avoiding Tim, and now I realise the longer I leave it the bigger deal it’s going to be. But at least so far there’s no sign of him telling anyone else about it, although any time I notice him talking to someone else in the office I can’t help feeling paranoid. I’m sure I’d know if anyone else knew.
I had a catch-up with Jo today. She says the work for the Belarusian company needs to start soon and I’ll be taking charge of it, and it was up to me how much I used Tim and Rachel. So I guess I’ll be forced to talk to him soon enough.
“Your hair is perfect. You look perfect. Now get on stage before we have a riot.”
I avoided Tim entirely at work today. I saw him glance over in my direction a couple of times but I couldn’t make eye contact. I can’t help wondering if when I’m sitting at my desk working he’s remembering how I look as near to naked as can be. I wonder if I really mind that much too.
It was still on my mind when I went to Mel’s this evening, and I was so distracted that as the elevator came to a stop on her floor I was already taking my coat off and had it over my arm. The doors opened and the neighbour that I’ve bumped into twice before now was the other side about to get in. His mouth fell open when he saw me standing there naked and, lacking any explanation, I just said “hello again”, stepped past him and knocked on Mel’s door. He realised he was still staring at me after a couple of seconds, mumbled “hello” and then disappeared into the lift. It was quite embarrassing but made me smile.
I was all ready to talk to Mel about what had happened recently but she had a bit of a backlog of work for me this time, which was made more difficult, of course, when she tied my wrists and ankles together at the chair. She left me to it after that, coming back after an hour to see how I was doing. Then as she untied me she asked casually if I’d seen Mark and Ana again, and I said yes, on Friday night. I didn’t mention that Ha had been there too. She said she could understand me missing the park run but I had to let her know otherwise I’d have to do it naked later in the day. For some reason I just said “yes, miss” and left it at that, but now I’m home I don’t know why.
I haven’t tried running naked, and I can’t imagine it’s much fun. I don’t have the biggest breasts, and I don’t run very fast, but it can’t be comfortable.
“If you say so, but I really don’t like to wear anything when I’m at home.”
Tonight was both amazing and terrifying, and maybe even more so than the first time.
We got to the pub and Mel let me have one drink to settle my nerves, and Elise came over and said hello, and where had I been because she was hoping I’d pop in sometime, after that night in the club. I said I would sometime.
Then it came to performance time and, honestly, this time I was so much less nervous, and it was more fun, and I think I did it better. I felt like I owned the room as I took off one thing after another, and I was brave enough to make eye contact with people and flirt a bit as I was undressing. And then it came to taking the corset off, and I turned around to show everyone my (almost) bare breasts, with just the nipple pasties, and then I locked eyes on someone in the crowd: it was Tim. Tim from work. Tim who I’m supposed to be in charge off.
I almost fell over, and the rest of the act was more of a blur. I couldn’t get it out of my mind: someone I worked with was sitting about four tables away from the stage and was watching me strip down to just about nothing. Let’s face it, it was really down to nothing, except the bare minimum that would stop the police raiding Elise’s pub.
I was as flustered as anything when I finished and before the applause had even stopped I made my back to Mel’s side, so eager to get off the stage that I forgot to pick anything up again. Which meant I ended up sitting on the chair, feeling one hundred percent naked, and Mel saw it in my eyes. She asked what was up, and I said that there was someone here I recognised, and I told her who it was, and she actually smiled and said “good”. She asked who it was and I described him, and she looked over my shoulder and said he wasn’t staring this way but was obviously half looking. I said it wasn’t good and I shouldn’t stay here. She said don’t be sily and that I needed another drink.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more vulnerable as I sat there, feeling plenty of eyes on my bare skin and wondering if those included Tim’s. But I didn’t dare look around, so I kept my eyes on the stage for the last act.
And then Mel reappeared with a drink, but the bad thing was that she had Tim by her side.
His eyes were fixed on a point about a foot above my head and he seemed almost as uncomfortable as I was. Almost, but not quite. Mel said it seemed silly for us not to say hello to each other, and she was going to talk to Elise, and she sat Tim down and I was left there at the table with Tim dressed up in a frilly shirt and black velvet jacket and me in nothing but nipple pasties and a c-string.
And somehow Tim actually seemed less nervous now than he ever was in the office. He said I put on a great performance and everyone really enjoyed it, and I said it was only the second time I’d done it, and definitely the last, which he said was a shame. I didn’t know what to say to that.
I started babbling a bit, and I said I bet he never thought he’d see someone like me doing something like this, and how embarrassing it was for someone from work to know about it, and he said you never can tell, and he was totally fine with it, and I didn’t have to worry about him telling anyone. I think I believe him on that, which is some relief. But it’s still going to be weird seeing him at work tomorrow.
I asked him how come he was here and he said that he’d been once or twice in the past and his friend had said they should come tonight. He turned and pointed at a dark haired woman, probably about his age, who was at the table where he’d been. I hadn’t even noticed he was with someone before and I couldn’t help wonder if he was on a date and somehow I was interrupting it. It would make sense of why she didn’t come over, although I think if I was on a date and someone went to talk to a naked work colleague I’d probably not go on a second one.
Then Mel came back and joined us, and she started quizzing Tim, and I half zoned out. She asked him what I was like at work, and joked about me seeming so quiet but I’ve got this wild side, and then she told him about her life coaching and got his details!
At some point I said he should go back to his friend, and Mel said he should just bring her over, but he said he’d go back, so I was let off that one.
Somehow after that spending another half an hour with people staring at my body didn’t seem much of an issue, because I don’t think I’m ever going to have anything more embarrassing happen to me than Tim watch me strip in front of a room full of people