After the run this morning Mel insisted on coming over this afternoon and watching me rehearse some more. She came over just after lunch and I got into my costume and put a chair in the front room and pulled the curtains, and Mel opened the curtains again and said if I was hiding today then I wasn’t going to be prepared for tomorrow.
I really hope Russ and Alison were out! Nobody else would be able to see in. But anyway, Mel was mostly quiet and only gave me small tips, and said I was ready again, and that I shouldn’t drink much tonight, and I definitely shouldn’t get involved in any threesomes, and that we would meet at the pub at six o’clock tomorrow.
I’m so nervous now.
Then this evening I replied to ENFBoyfriend on the photo site. I said thanks for being kind, but I wanted to stay anonymous so I wouldn’t say much, and I said my boyfriend was very understanding of my way of life (which might be true if I had one), which is the most obvious way of saying “keep your distance” imaginable.
It’s impossible not to have some comment on the strange times we seem to be living through: social distancing, health systems scrambling for ventilators, shoppers scrambling for toilet rolls, and no real idea of when, how or even if it’s going to end.
Firstly, I hope everyone is both staying safe and, no matter what your political beliefs, following the rules. Nobody wants to be “that guy” in the epidemic disaster film who goes on and infects half the world, and although nobody thinks they are none of us can really know.
And secondly, and much less important, a couple of weeks ago I was wondering how on earth to deal with this in the Exhibitionist Diary. It’s told in current time and at first I wondered if it even made sense to ignore what was going on in the world. But then I came to the conclusion that we all need some escapism, so added to the dream world where you can walk around nude with minimal repercussions, STIs don’t exist and nobody has to go to the toilet and women don’t seem to have periods, my world has also avoided the pandemic situation entirely. And let’s face it: an exhibitionist who has to stay indoors does not a good story make.
Which means I have to get back to writing it and try and try to inject some fun into the world when I’m struggling to feel anything but mild anxiety.
All the best!
I came home and panic rehearsed the routine tonight. With the curtains closed, obviously, because I feel far too silly having Alison and Russ see me doing this! Which is daft as a room full of people will see it in two nights time…
I think I’m going to have trouble sleeping.
“You told everyone that I’m pretty much always nude, right?”
Dinner was nice. I really like Jo, still, and she somehow manages to both be the boss and not bossy at the same time. I asked her about her dating too, and she said she’d never got far with the last guy, but she was seeing someone else from time-to-time, but now it was more casual and she’ll just let things happen, but she’s not actually unhappy being alone either. She seems like she’s in a much better place.
But that opened up a bit of a can of worms when she asked me about my life. I said it was complicated, and she asked if it was complicated good or complicated bad, and I said it was sometimes complicated fun, but nothing long-term. She said that she wouldn’t judge one bit, and as long as I was careful then it was up to me whether I had one boyfriend, ten boyfriends, or a hundred girlfriends. I offhand said one of each was plenty enough, not realising that it kind of leaked a bit of information, and she raised an eyebrow but didn’t dig any deeper.
“She didn’t get down on her knees and propose. It was something far more dramatic.”