It still didn’t happen! I don’t know why, but we just don’t seem to be able to get it all together. Kieran walked me back to the tube station, we had a nice kiss, and then he said he’d text me in the morning and maybe we could do something in the week. I wasn’t going to be so bold as to suggest he came back to mine, so that was it. I was extremely frustrated by the time I got home. Maybe it would be easier if we lived a bit closer to each other and could just casually linger outside one or the other’s flat before being asked in, but at the tube station it’s just all such a big deal to suggest taking a twenty minute journey together.

Also, it was nearly snowing again today, so although I went out for a bit of a run there was no way I was going out for the semi-clad walk I managed to squeeze in last Sunday. Then I saw my mum in the afternoon, so that was the end of that.

I swapped a few message with Kieran later in the afternoon and we might meet up on Tuesday.

This is just a quick entry as I’m seeing Kieran later and doubt I’ll have the energy to type anything when I get in. And I’m half hoping that I don’t come home at all… Anyway, what with the cold and all, I have fancy underwear, long socks and skirt and top all deployed. We’re only going out for something sort-of-casual (he said), but I’m really looking forward to it.

Other than that I’ve been doing chores all day. Yawn.

Freezing cold weather and it felt like it was going to snow today so I was wrapped up good and proper.

Jo came and saw me today and said that she’d like me to come with her to a conference next week. It’s out of town so we’ll need to stay a night in a hotel, but she reckoned between the pair of us we could shake up the boring old world of accounting! Helen on reception is going to book something for us both anyway. I’m rather looking forward to it!

I went straight home after work today and then out for a run and am meeting Kieran tomorrow.

The PR company is nowhere near as much fun as the start-up. I guess partly because I have to go back to the office at lunchtime so anything I wear has to be right for both places. The temperature had turned today anyway so I went for trousers and a plain white blouse, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear a bra. I had a jacket on for some of the morning anyway, and the woman I was dealing with (Carol, in operations) seemed nice. It’s a mixed office but I just wasn’t feeling all that flirty.

Things changed a bit in the afternoon as our office is always too warm, so there was no way the jacket was staying on. I caught Matthew staring at my blouse at some point and I couldn’t tell if he was trying to work out if I had a bra on or if it was so obvious that I didn’t that he couldn’t help but stare anyway! I had a peer in the mirror in the ladies toilets but the light isn’t that good in there so I couldn’t really tell.

I’ve been thinking more about the buzz I got from Sunday, from being out and about with hardly anything beneath my coat. It’s not just being half-naked that gives me a thrill, it’s the thought that I might be caught at any moment and there’s nothing I can do about it. I wonder if that’s how I push myself to being a bit more adventurous; to get myself into a situation with no way to back out of it.

The problem is a) I’d be mortified if anyone I knew found out and b) I’m a coward. Oh and c) if I try it in a work environment and it goes wrong then I could be in big trouble. So my first visit to the PR company tomorrow is not the time to experiment! (Too much…)

The Pilates teacher told me today that I was coming along really well. Now I wonder if I’m going to have another dream about her… That wouldn’t be a bad thing.

It was still warmer than usual outside so I went for the jacket, skirt and knee-high boots look for my visit to the start-up again – with no blouse underneath. But I did wear a nice pair of underwear. I think it might be their favourite, judging by how helpful all the boys are all day.

And then one of them asked me near the end of the day if I was free after work. It was so sweet as he was so bad at it, and I said I was meeting someone and hoped he get my meaning. I guess it’s easier to get out of these things with a boyfriend to use as an excuse. (Yes! I’ve decided I actually do have a boyfriend!)

I was feeling so sexy by the end of the say that I went into the toilets and slipped the underwear off and travelled home in my suit jacket and skirt. Okay, I had a coat on too, but I still felt pretty daring. The jacket was a bit rough on my nipples, though. I was about to take it off as soon as I got home and then caught sight of myself in the mirror just as I had it unbuttoned down the middle. Modesty aside, it was a very hot look. I almost took a photo to send to Kieran but I thought he might think I was desperate for sex (which was true) and I didn’t want to be too available, if you know what I mean. Maybe you don’t.

Still, I was disappointed he didn’t send me a text tonight. But I wasn’t going to send him one first, so as I’m about to go to bed I’m feeling a bit frustrated.

Brian said we got the new work! So I start on Thursday, just for a half day. It won’t be as much fun as the Tuesday start-up, but it’s nice to be out of the office – and nice to have a bit more responsibility.

I wore trousers and a blouse to work today and had a bit of a flirt with Matthew, then on the way home there was a guy on the tube who was kind of cute so I did my best to flash a bit of chest his way under the pretence of scratching my neck. I was feeling pretty damn attractive by the time I got home, I have to say.

I didn’t get to have a run this morning (okay, I just didn’t get up early enough) so I went after work, and this led to a pretty hot exchange of messages with Kieran:

So I said I’d send him a photo and he went quiet… and I took a picture of my photo. I mean, I was really sitting on the edge of my bed naked and with a towel around my head, but I wasn’t quite ready to send him a head-to-toe photo. Not yet! Although it was tempting…

I stood in front of the mirror and – you know what? – this Pilates and running is starting to do some good.

We ended up swapping flirty messages for the rest of the night, but it’s all a bit long and probably not that interesting for anyone else. Needless to say I was masturbating by bedtime, and I wondered if Kieran did too. Such a waste if so.

After yesterday’s “back to normal” day I realised I had better try something different, and the weather was better than it had been recently so… I put on my new underwear, a long pair of boots, and the biggest coat I own and went for a walk. It felt so sexy, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I was looking at everyone I passed, daring them to work out how little I was wearing. Of course no-one could, so I went to a coffee shop and almost on automatic pilot started to unbutton my coat! I stopped myself just in time but got a very funny look from the barista as I sat down so quickly.

It’s so addictive, that feeling; the rush from taking a risk of being exposed, although in reality I was in control all the time. Or at least I thought I was, and then I came over all naughty. I went into the coffee shop toilets, took off my knickers and stuffed them into my coat pocket, and walked home in just coat and bra! I don’t know why I didn’t dare take the bra off as well as I had the coat buttoned up tightly the whole time.

Although a nice day, it’s still January and not exactly warm, and that’s probably the only thing that stopped me from being as randy as anything the whole time, because it was a bit nippy “up there”. I hadn’t set the heating timer either so it was quite cool when I got home too, and it was a bit disappointing to have to get dressed as soon as I came in.

I met some friends from past jobs today. I don’t know why, but whenever I meet old friends I revert to the old me, in terms of dress sense, and it was just jeans and a jumper. I even wore knickers, since jeans without underwear isn’t ideal. Some of us stayed around for dinner in the evening and we went to a noodle bar and gossiped, and of course somebody asked me if I was seeing anyone and they could tell from the look on my face… I was grilled for ages, because none of them had ever known me to have a boyfriend. And I’m not even sure if Kieran is a boyfriend… he must be, if we’ve kissed, I guess?

I wore as short a skirt as I dared in the office today, which is to say not that short at all. And with long socks and boots underneath I looked pretty conservative, to be honest. Sometimes it’s fun to think that nobody knows I’m not wearing any underwear, but sometimes I wish people did know.

We had a bit of an office girls lunch today, thanks to Jo again. She’s been so good for the office and when I think back to last year and how we’d all have a sandwich at our desk, sitting there in grey skirts and blouses, and now there’s colour everywhere. I mean, Helen on reception always looks pretty glamourous, but now everyone was just a bit freer to wear what they wanted. (Even if I was still wearing more than I wanted to.)

Kieran met me after work and Ha lingered for a drink and a chat, and then got far too nosey about how we seemed to be moving pretty slowly and hadn’t even seen each other naked yet! We both got a bit embarrassed about that, and then she said that even she’d seen me naked and Kieran was missing out! I didn’t know what to say to that, because I really would like to know if he liked my body…

Part of me wondered if tonight was “the night” to ask him back, but somehow the mood just wasn’t quite right. We still kissed, and for a little bit longer than before. When I got home I had a text saying that he’d had a nice time. I wished him sweet dreams, and hoped they’d be of me.