It feels like a bit of dead time between Christmas and New Year, so I haven’t even been out today. Tidying, preparing for the coming year, and reading was all that happened.

Ellie replied at last and suggested meeting up for a coffee and cake. I was keen, since I hadn’t done much for a few days and, because I’m still as horny as hell, I thought I’d try to turn the clock back a bit (as far as the two of us were concerned) and for the third day in a row went out in only my boots and coat.

The joke was on me, though, as I was halfway there when she added “and I can’t wait for you to meet Stephen” because, yes, he was coming too. Awkward!

Russ was nice, though, if a bit quiet, and he didn’t seem to suspect that I was an arch nudist nymphomaniac today, but Ellie was looking at me like she knew. Then when Russ went off to the toilet instead of asking me what I thought of him she asked if was really wearing nothing under my coat. I laughed and nodded, and she said she hoped she didn’t have designs on her new man! That made me laugh, because I still had more designs on her than him, but I said I had no idea that he was supposed to be coming. Ellie said she had said “us” in the message, and when I checked she had, but I’d assumed it meant “us two” not “us three”. My bad, but it turned out okay.

After I got back home I started messaging her, asking her if she’d gotten any further with him yet, and she said no, because he seemed so shy. I said maybe she should be the one wearing just a coat and she said she wasn’t brave enough, and then I reminded her that she still owed me a dare. I’ll be very jealous if I help the two of them get it together like that, but on the other hand it’s what a friend should do. She said I couldn’t make her do that, and I said she owed me, and I’d let her know a time.

It was all very flirty even though we were talking about her and her boyfriend, and when the message thread went quiet I went back to feel lonely again. And I can’t even masturbate to make myself feel better.

No rest for the wicked! Which means the park run happened today, although Mel wasn’t there. I messaged her to goad her about it and she said she was away visiting Jason’s relatives and wouldn’t be back until the New Year! Which means I won’t see her on Monday! That’s a disaster, because not only is she my only sexual outlet at the moment, but she’s even forbidden me from asking if I can do anything about my own frustration! It makes it even worse, and now I can’t even see an end to it it’s all I can think about!

I don’t know what I was thinking but I went out in the boots and coat again and ended up browsing the post-Christmas sales. But it was kind of hard to pick things up and see if they fitted without revealing that I had nothing on underneath so I came back empty-handed. I probably wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make good decisions anyway.

Allison and Russ seem to have gone away so I can walk around nude without caring if they even see me. I have to admit (as I told Mel) that I do like to be seen, but sometimes it’s nice not to be.

It was raining this morning but then it turned crisp and sunny, so I put on long boots and my long coat and went for a walk. It was exhilarating, and I need to do it more often. I could have stayed out for ages. I sat in a coffee shop and messaged Ellie to see if she was free but didn’t get a reply before I came home. And flirting with the waiter got me nowhere either.

Christmas day was nice, with not much except eating, drinking and playing. And no serious questions either! I wonder if they’ve given up on me.

I’ve got today and tomorrow off, and then on Tuesday night Ha has invited me along to a party at Sarah and George’s. They’ve seen me naked a couple of times, but I imagine their friends haven’t!

I feel kind of sad now it’s nearly 2020 as this time last year I was seeing Kieran and we were a few days away from our first kiss. I have to admit I feel tempted to message him sometimes, just to get it out of my system.

Anyway, today’s been a day of recovering, tidying, and making plans for next year.

I’m off to my mum’s soon, with a small clutch of presents. I’m kind of looking forward to it as my brother’s little boy is three now and is starting to work out what Christmas is all about. They’ll have been up since 6am, no-doubt!

As long as I can dodge the “haven’t you got a boyfriend yet?” questions I should be okay.

Happy Christmas to one and all!

The office was dead today! But unfortunately not dead enough that I could live out the fantasy of sitting at my desk in the nude. We ended up finishing on a half day and going for a quick drink.

I was home nice and early and felt very self-indulgent, so I treated myself to a long bath (which I haven’t done for a long time) and an evening of swanning around in the nude. I didn’t even care if Allison and Russ thought I was sending them a message or not.

It’s always a strange time to be in the office, just before Christmas, because half the company has booked the time off for the whole week. It was quite a productive day for me, though, going through the work backlog. Neither Tim nor Rachel

And now I’ve written about the boring stuff I guess I should talk about my evening with Mel.

I felt all kinds of seedy, leaving the office in a long coat and boots and with my clothes in my bag. It was chucking it down with rain too, and I was huddled up in my coat because it was a bit cold even in Mel’s apartment block. It all nearly went very badly wrong as I was about to knock on the door when one of the neighbours arrived home! Another twenty seconds and I’ve have been standing there starkers! Although maybe it wouldn’t have been too bad as it was quite a cute guy, maybe thirty years old, so perhaps standing around naked in the corridor is a good way to meet someone.

I pretended I was waiting for Mel to answer, and then when he was through the door I knocked and quickly took off my coat. As usual, she took an age to get to the door, and I was wondering if maybe she wasn’t even in! But then she opened it, looking as elegant as ever in black leggings and a tight top, while I felt bedraggled from the rain and very vulnerable standing there in nothing but a pair of calf boots.

She let me in and I put my coat down and took off my boots, and then as she asked me how I’d been over the past few days she put the collar around my neck, the cuffs around my wrist and then connected them both together with a strap that ran down my back. I followed her into her office and sat down as best as I could, conscious of how my shoulders were pulled back and my chest pushed out, and already wishing that maybe we could skip the life coaching and she could just bring me to climax and get it over with.

But instead she started with asking me about work, and then moved on to asking me about how I’d felt at the party. As before, being strapped up as I was, I felt as if I had nothing to hide. I told her that I was surprised about her and Jason, but fine with it, and that I’d really enjoyed mingling with a load of clothed strangers while I was in the nude and it wasn’t as if they didn’t care, but they didn’t ask questions. Apart from Deborah, and then I told her about the office party, and she laughed and said she had no idea that that would happen otherwise she would have given me a bigger mask. I said Deborah seemed to find it very amusing, and Mel said “Well, she would,” and left it at that.

Mel said that it was going to be difficult to set up more encounters with strangers where I was nude, so I was just going to have to broaden the circle of friends that knew! That sounds terrifying, but on the positive side I don’t have a lot of friends. She said we’d also have to try something more public next time, because she could tell from the café on Thursday that I really wanted to be not only exposed but also completely and helplessly out of control. I blushed at that, because it’s true, but I wouldn’t have admitted it.

Mel asked me about what I was looking for, both physically and emotionally, and I couldn’t really explain it. She said it was telling that I’d kept saying I was looking for a man when it didn’t seem like I really knew, and that I wanted to settle down but maybe I didn’t really want to, and perhaps I should just try everything, while I can. That perhaps what I think I want is driven more by what society expects than by what I really want.

It was kind of exhausting, plus I couldn’t move my arms, because of the cuffs, and sitting with my shoulders back and chest out was quite tiring too.

But just as I was getting tired enough to start feeling uncomfortable, Mel said the hour was up and she had other work to get through tonight. It seemed like nothing else was going to happen before I left that night, and then I wondered if Mel had planted the seed in my mind deliberately, and as I was standing in my boots in her hallway with my coat over my arm and about ready to leave I decided to give her a little goodbye hug. And I was feeling brave, so I ran down my hands over her back and pulled her a little closer. But Mel laughed and said it was a nice idea, but she wasn’t the one for me but maybe she knew someone. That sounded very intriguing.

And then when I got home she said she’d see me in two weeks but I wasn’t allowed to touch myself unless she said so. And I wasn’t allowed to even ask. She’s just so unfair!

I had a nice surprise today with brunch with Ellie. She messaged me early in the morning, and I was just getting in the mood for doing something. It was funny, because we didn’t really talk about anything in particular, except I got very nosey about her dating. She’s been seeing the guy for over a month now, and I hadn’t even asked his name before because I didn’t want to know. Anyway, it’s Stephen, if you care, and she’s still seeing him, and things haven’t gotten very far. I was feeling bold so I asked her if she felt like getting naked for him. She said yeah, she did, which was a good sign, but she thought it probably wasn’t a good idea just to come out and do it like that in case he got the wrong idea. I joked that he might get the right idea.

It was a nice chat anyway, but I felt really lonely after I got home.

I needed today to be a quiet day after the week I’ve had! I did a load of laundry, some Christmas shopping, and then got home early and settled down with a book, the curtains closed and my phone a long way away so I didn’t get distracted by it.