Sorry if it’s disappointing news, but yesterday night did not turn into a threesome. But it was a nice evening nonetheless.

Because I still harboured hopes that it would, I got out of my clothes in the office (toilets), put my coat and boots back on and made my way with Ha to her place. I think she knew already, but she still had a definite little smile when I took the coat off in their hallway. Then I asked if I should take my boots off, because I was feeling all kinds of kinky, and said it was up to her because it I was a guest and had to follow her house rules. She just said “don’t give me ideas” (which is exactly what I was trying to do) but said I should take my boots off and make myself comfortable.

I love the attention I get from those two when I’m naked with them, but for the first time I really was wishing (or maybe craving) for something more to happen. We ordered a takeaway and had a few glasses of wine, and sat and chatted. They asked what happened to “your friend Ellie”, and I told them we were still in touch but she had a boyfriend now. Lily said that was a shame as she had possibly misplaced hopes that there would be something between us, rather than have me try to pick up some lame guy again. Then said “no offence” to Ha, because my last “lame guy” was her childhood friend, but Ha agreed he was pretty lame when it came to how he’d treated me. I resisted asking if they were in touch because I don’t want to know: either I’ve ruined their friendship, or Ha is still friends with the guy that betrayed my trust. Neither is good.

I may have done a bad thing, though, because after loosening up a bit from alcohol I let slip that I’d been seeing Mel for life coaching, and doing her accounts, and straight away Ha asked if I did those in the nude too and I went so red I couldn’t deny it. I didn’t tell her about the ropes and chains, but then Lily said Mel was the one who sort of got them into. I can never work out with those two which of them would be the dominant one, because from the way Ha talks it sounds like Lily, but then Lily ends up sitting cross-legged on the floor on these kinds of evenings, leant up against Ha’s chair like she’s almost some kind of subject of her queen. I didn’t dare ask anyway.

I even ended up sitting on the floor cross-legged after a while, which is a pretty big deal for a naked woman, and Ha and Lily kept glancing across at me (because it would be impossible not to) but still didn’t get the invite. If I could have taught my vagina to say “come and get me” it couldn’t have been more obvious.

Then the evening ended and I had to go home, so I booked a car (which is extravagant) because I didn’t want to put everything back on and I didn’t want to walk anywhere in just my coat and boots.

Running with Mel was doubly hard after the late night. She asked me about the website again and I told her I hadn’t even looked (which isn’t true), and she said I should go through the archives because there’s lots of interesting stuff there.

I’m not sure if whatever she has planned is working, to be honest.

Just a quick post as I’m going to Ha’s and Lily’s tonight. On the one hand I’ve been fantasising about it turning into some kind of threesome, but on the other I don’t think I could face Ha in the office if it did! I’m ready to burst, though.

I had lunch with Ha today and was so desperate to tell her about Mel, and our arrangement, but I just can’t help but feel it’s too late. Plus it’s kind of embarrassing that I’m taking orders, and not even getting anything in return. But I feel like Mel has a plan and if I don’t follow it through then I’ll ruin it.

I’ve been invited to their place after work on Friday, though, just to hang out with her and Lily and get a takeaway and gossip. It has been a while since we all hung out together, and who knows: maybe I’ll do or say anything to try and seduce them by then?

I was so frustrated last night that when I got in I actually went to the website that Mel wanted me to post the photos on. The only good part was that to see images you had to create an account and log in (which I did), and it was quite a community when I got there. Not like I expected at all, actually, but a few like-minded women and, obviously, lots of men commenting on any pictures. Some people did seem to post photos of themselves either naked or near naked and seemed quite shy about it, but they always got nice responses. Mostly they weren’t even hiding their faces either.

It would be a big step, though, because if I was recognised (and I could be easily recognised from Mel’s photos) it could be a black mark against my career. I’m less worried about any future boyfriend seeing me, because I’d guess that anyone who was looking for those photos was already into that kind of thing, so it’s almost like a pre-screening!

Mel sent me a message to ask if I’d posted the photos yet, and I said no, because I couldn’t go through with it. She didn’t reply.

Pilates was hard work tonight, after missing three weeks because of all the holidays, and even my added energy didn’t really help. But at least it was a distraction.

Last night I dreamt I was tied up by Mel again. It was early morning in the office, and then she had to go and left me tied at the wrists, knees and ankles in the chair, just like I had been at her place. And then everyone started to arrive, and I couldn’t even move to hide, and then Tim came and started asking me questions about work and Ha said it was very brave of me to finally show my true self in the office.

Then I was called into a meeting but obviously I couldn’t walk there, so Matthew said he’d carry me, so he put his arms underneath my legs and lifted. His shirt was rubbing on my bare skin and then he moved his hand to get a better grip and ended up pressing you-know-where and I made a moaning sound and was about to have an orgasm… and then I woke up, still about to have an orgasm. And not able to do anything about it.

I was horny all day at work and starting to wonder if I could just randomly pick someone up to let my frustration out.

Mel is so mean to me!

Firstly, leaving the office was a bit tricky, because I went into the bathroom and undressed, put my coat back on, and then bumped into Tim on the way out who then started asking me about some piece of work that I’ve given him. So I had to go back to his desk and stand beside him explaining it again, all the while paranoid about being close to naked in the middle of the office! I can’t see how anyone would have guessed but it was quite nerve-wracking, but also quite a lot of fun.

It meant I was a bit late at Mel’s, and had to apologise even after she made me wait naked in the hallway. She just said I’d have to make it up, led me to her back room (after I’d taken my shoes off), and then she brought out some pieces of very long and very soft red cord. I can tell you it was soft because as I started to open the accounting software on her computer she bound it quickly and very tidily around my ankles, and then around my knees, keeping them tightly closed together, and lastly she made me hold my hands out and bound my wrists together (in front of me). I was pretty much ready to have an orgasm by then and I asked her how I was mean to work like that and she said that was for me to figure out.

It was actually possible to type, but far from ideal. Then she left me while I worked through her accounts. It was incredibly frustrating because I was more horny than I think I’d ever been, and having my legs bound together just made it even worse because it was it felt like a very firm message that nothing was going to happen down there tonight.

I worked for an hour and, to be honest, I’ve done a lot of the setup now so I’m not sure how many more sessions we need. Mel came back in and I walked her through it, which was difficult as I was still tied up. Plus all I could think about was whether she would finally give me some relief at the end of it all.

Mel said I looked quite elegant with my legs bound together and that made me feel nice. Then she went and got her phone, came back and took a photo of me at her desk! It’s not like I could get away either, because there was no way I was going to try to walk with my ankles tied together.

Then Mel made me slide off of the chair and sat me in the middle of the floor and took another couple of photos. I felt so helpless as I don’t think I could even stand without her help, and there she was taking advantage of me!

It all felt like it was building up to something, and then Mel started to untie me. It felt like nothing was going to happen and I wondered if she’d forgotten her insistent on my self-chastity, so I couldn’t help but remind her that it had been over two weeks and I said I’d been tempted to seduce just about anyone at New Year since I wasn’t allowed to touch myself.

Then Mel said she would send me an e-mail with the photos she’d taken attached, and a website address, and that if I posted the photos on there then I’d be allowed to masturbate.

Even though I’m home now and want to touch myself so much I couldn’t possibly go through with that. I feel stuck.

Alison and Russ across the road came back today. I saw them unloading their car, and within five minutes of getting inside Russ was in the nude! I guess I’m not the only one with pent-up frustration.

It’s a struggle to make it through today, to be honest. I hope Mel’s in the mood for something more fun tomorrow! While I sit and do her accounts… hmmm, that sounds even more odd written down than it did in my head.

I had another dream last night about being at work naked. I was planning to go to Mel’s so had undressed, and then had something to finish off and went back to my desk, and then Jo came and told me to take my coat off and get back to work because if I wanted to progress I needed to finish reviewing some accounts tonight and why was I leaving at only 2pm anyway? So more people came back to the office after lunch, and I was sitting there naked and trying to work, and then Rachel (who I haven’t fantasised about at all before!) was sitting beside me as I briefed her on some work and her tights were rubbing against my bare legs, and then she reached over and put her hand on my thigh.

And then I woke up, and I so nearly orgasmed, and then I remembered I had to go park running so got up quickly and just about made it in time.

Mel was there and she waited for me at the end and we walked back together and talked about how our new year and Christmas holidays had been, and I said it had been very frustrating! But I’m not allowed to ask if I can do you-know-what, so I just skirted around it. I told her I’d ended up in my underwear at the party and she found that funny, especially when I said Sarah believed I had nothing on underneath my dress. She said it was good to keep people guessing.

I’m still so frustrated, though!

I’m definitely just horny all the time now. I wrote a flirty post to Ellie today asking if she and Stephen had gotten anywhere on New Year’s Eve and she said they kissed, and then he dropped her off at home! She’s even wondering if he’s that interested, but I said maybe he thinks it’s serious and is making sure he doesn’t move too fast. She said she wished he would move a bit faster, and I reminded her that I was going to dare her to do something about it very soon if she wasn’t careful. I’m jealous anyway.

Back to work today! I kind of think I should really make some New Year resolutions, but then I never stick to them so why bother?

Today was just all about getting reorganised and remembering what we were doing before we all went away almost two weeks ago. It was also grim and grey and not a day for feeling very sexy about anything. Although I’m beginning to wonder if so long a period of abstinence is good for me. It’s over two weeks now!