Morning coffee with Alison and Russ was… something else.

I headed over there at 11am on the dot, knocked on the door, and Russ opened it… completely naked. I’ve hardly seen any men in the nude, and none since Kieran, and it was a bit of a shock. But even though I know he’s with Alison, and I should know better than anyone that naked doesn’t mean sex, I swear that if he’d had a hard-on I’d have turned around and come straight home.

But he didn’t, which then made me wonder if the thought of opening the door to me in the nude was such a turn-off that he had gone completely limp. Or possibly it was nerves.

I did my best to pretend nothing was up, though, and just said “hello” and followed him up the stairs into the rest of their apartment. It was funny, but I’ve never seen a man’s bum from that angle before, and I wasn’t expecting quite so much fluff.

Alison was in a tight skirt, calf boots and a white blouse, and since I was wearing trousers and a top (and underwear again!) it made me really conscious of the naked man in the corner of the room. I resisted saying anything to Alison and he went and made coffee and I sat on the sofa with my neighbour and chatted about Christmas, New Year and work. For some reason I didn’t mind confessing to her about getting down to my rather sexy underwear for the New Year’s party, although I managed to stop myself telling her about my adventures at Mel’s.

Russ came back with a tray and two coffees and slices of Victoria sponge cake, which Alison said she’d made this morning. Russ actually sat down this time, in an armchair just across the room, and I couldn’t help smile at the fact that we had a naked waiter for just the two of us. I had no fantasies of anything else happening: it was just that he was there and at our beck and call.

I was kind of waiting for Alison to say something about him, because this seemed like a big step, to suddenly open the door in the nude, but she never did. And Russ obviously never did. So, of course, I didn’t either.

Russ poured us some more coffee, and I know Alison saw my glance at his crotch as he did so because there was the definitely stirrings of an erection there. And then when he went and sat down he started to turn red in the face and his cock slid slowly up his leg before lurching into the air, one pulse at a time. It made it really hard to keep talking.

Soon he was as stiff as a board and I was getting a bit nervous that Alison had something in mind, then she said suddenly that she was probably keeping me from my afternoon, and then had to be out by three o’clock, so Russ would show me to the door.

This time he followed me down the stairs, cock waving as he walked, and I couldn’t help but say “Let’s do this again sometime” before he closed the door, and there was a definitely twitch down-below. So maybe I wasn’t such a turn-off for him after all.

It was a very odd morning altogether and it kept me distracted for the whole afternoon while I tried to read a book. I guess since the book was on corporate tax law, it’s something easy to be distracted from. And something tells me that Alison will be inviting me over again sometime.

The release of sexual tension did nothing whatsoever for my running this morning: I was neither much slower (although a bit slower) and certainly no faster than usual. Mel was there and she said I looked well, and wasn’t it a weight off my mind that I’d finally taken a step forward? I said the weight off my mind was something else, but I suppose uploading my photos wasn’t actually that big of a deal, now that I’ve done it.

And then she said “they seem popular too” and I hadn’t thought to check back, so I did as soon as I got home… They had a lot of views, and a few comments (which were all rather complimentary!) and somebody even asked who the “model” was (lol!). The slightly tricky thing is that they’ve linked up the pictures of me there with the ones from the holiday, and the naked bike ride. And someone has even said Ha looks extremely hot (which she does) and asked if there are any more photos of her. I very much doubt I could get her to upload any more, and now I’m wondering if I’m mad if I have.

I popped out to the shops this afternoon and on the way back bumped into Alison from across the road. She said if I wasn’t doing anything tomorrow morning I should come over for a morning coffee and cake and a chat. Which I guess means more of making her husband wait on us, which I don’t really object to!

I felt like a new woman today! Although I forgot to ask Mel if last night was a one-time reprieve or if I can do what I like from now on. Perhaps if I don’t ask it’ll just mean I can do what I like!

It was a very dreary January day today, too, so I wasn’t feeling at all frisky. I even wore trousers and a blouse and underwear, like a normal person. Well, I guess I look like a normal person, from the outside, when I’ve got my clothes on…

I caved. I did it. I uploaded the photos. There were six in all (three from each of the past two sessions). When they were done I messaged Mel and had the most intense and possibly quickest self-induced orgasm I’ve ever had.

Mel replied to say “Well done” which made me feel good, and then “You’ve taken an important step, but there’s a long way to go yet,” which kind of deflated me again.

I haven’t seen anyone comment on the pictures yet, but there are a few dozen views showing. Also, I can’t delete them! I thought that might be a loophole, since Mel hadn’t said anything about that, but maybe she knew already. It’s kind of weird to see a picture of yourself tied up and naked on the Internet, and to wonder who might be looking at it… I can only imagine how much masturbation might have gone on so far. I’m not sure if I like that idea or dislike it. I think as long as I don’t have to meet any of the men who get off on my photos I’ll probably be okay.

I tried to put all of my frustration into Pilates, but there’s only so much it can take. It’s getting to the point where I’m obsessing about how I’m going to get myself out of this hole that Mel has put me in so much that I’m barely thinking about anything else.

I actually wondered if prancing around in the nude would tempt Russel and Alison to make an advance towards me, but then if they were going to do that they would have done already. And they had their curtains closed this evening so it didn’t even work, and it didn’t make me feel any better either. There’s a naked body here that’s begging to be touched and no-one’s taking me up on the offer!

I was right: I really didn’t sleep well. I think I’m partly annoyed because Mel has a point about me needing to do things myself; to make things happen. I had it when anyone tells me what to do, especially if it’s something I know I should be doing!

I was a bit all over the place at work today too. Lack of sleep, distracted, and lack of sex! Mostly the last…

Today was all about my session with Mel, and my need to vent.

Firstly, I was waiting obediently, as ever, and at least this week I wasn’t late, and as I stood in her hallway with my coat over my shoulder I heard a noise – but not in time. I sort of half put the coat over the important bits just as the guy I had seen last week came out of the elevator. There was no getting away from the fact that I was naked, and for some reason saying “I’m just playing a prank on Mel” seemed like a good idea. He smiled, seemingly relieved (but surely he didn’t believe me?), opened his door, took one last glance at me (with the important bits covered) and then said “Hope it goes well” and went inside.

It was quite a thrill and I was bubbling with excitement when I told Mel one of her neighbours had just seen me. She just said “Good” and I went inside, took my boots off, and we went to into her little office.

She put the “posture corrector” on me again. I don’t know if I’ve described it properly in the past but I found a picture of the kind of thing Mel puts me in:

Except I don’t look like that, of course. But it’s hard not to feel sexy when you have to stick your chest out the whole time.

Mel asked me how it was going and I think I kind of had to vent, because I said I wasn’t sure where this was all going, how I was extremely frustrated, and I said I didn’t know why I was following her rules anyway. Then Mel said if I didn’t want to come I didn’t have to. Except I didn’t want to stop either, I just wanted to let her know what I was feeling. She said that I was the only one holding my potential in check, and if I just took the first few steps forward the rest would be easier.

I tried to tell her that if the office found out about photos of me on the Internet (because she had seen the ones from the holiday too) then it could damage my prospects. She just said “but they probably won’t, and it might not,” and if I was that worried about it then I should just give up now, go back to wearing underwear and be clothed all the time, and just fit in.

It was quite a heated discussion, and the most annoying thing about it all is that she’s actually right. But then if I didn’t want to stop seeing her, and I didn’t want to post more pictures of myself, then what could I do? I said I hadn’t touched myself for something like six weeks now, and hadn’t orgasmed since that time in the café over three weeks ago, and I just wasn’t sure I could go on. I blurted out that I’d do anything, but I just needed more time, and Mel, like she was some kind of guru, said “Time is the one thing we can’t make more of.” I think I kind of hate her sometimes!

Then Mel took out her phone and took another handful of pictures of me sat in the back restraint thing, and said I had to add those to the post too! She said it was just going to get harder the longer I left it.

Then she changed the subject and talked about work. I found it hard to concentrate, because I was kind of angry with her, and I also wanted her to touch me before she sent me home, so the conversation was kind of vague. She asked if I had a plan for how to move into this corporate tax world I wanted to move into, which I didn’t, and I hadn’t done much about, but I was going to have lunch with Jo again soon. She said I couldn’t just rely on other people to make things happen for me: I had to do it myself.

Then the session just suddenly ended. It had been over an hour, and Mel unfastened my collar and cuffs, and I was so angry about everything that I’d given up hinting about anything else happening.

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight running it all through my mind.

Today was a day of chores, followed by a not particularly welcome revelation.

The revelation came when I was feeling at a bit of a loose end this evening, so I went back to that website again. I was clicking through some of the old posts and who should I see looking out of the screen? Yup: it was me. In a mixture of pictures I was there on the naked bike ride (and so was Ha at least), but then there was another post that had half a dozen pictures that can only have come from Ha, Lily or Kieran, because they were from our holiday last year when I was walking along the canal in the nude.

I’m pretty sure I can rule out Ha or Lily being the sources.

It’s made me so mad again, because what does he think he’s doing? I was close to calling him up and having a go at him, but I don’t want to let him know that he’s got to me otherwise he might post even more. I’m sure they’re not the only ones he has.

The only positive thing is they’ve been there for months and so far there’s been no come-back, so I guess the fact that you need to log in to view them, and it’s a pretty niche interest, to be honest, is on my side.

Sorry if it’s disappointing news, but yesterday night did not turn into a threesome. But it was a nice evening nonetheless.

Because I still harboured hopes that it would, I got out of my clothes in the office (toilets), put my coat and boots back on and made my way with Ha to her place. I think she knew already, but she still had a definite little smile when I took the coat off in their hallway. Then I asked if I should take my boots off, because I was feeling all kinds of kinky, and said it was up to her because it I was a guest and had to follow her house rules. She just said “don’t give me ideas” (which is exactly what I was trying to do) but said I should take my boots off and make myself comfortable.

I love the attention I get from those two when I’m naked with them, but for the first time I really was wishing (or maybe craving) for something more to happen. We ordered a takeaway and had a few glasses of wine, and sat and chatted. They asked what happened to “your friend Ellie”, and I told them we were still in touch but she had a boyfriend now. Lily said that was a shame as she had possibly misplaced hopes that there would be something between us, rather than have me try to pick up some lame guy again. Then said “no offence” to Ha, because my last “lame guy” was her childhood friend, but Ha agreed he was pretty lame when it came to how he’d treated me. I resisted asking if they were in touch because I don’t want to know: either I’ve ruined their friendship, or Ha is still friends with the guy that betrayed my trust. Neither is good.

I may have done a bad thing, though, because after loosening up a bit from alcohol I let slip that I’d been seeing Mel for life coaching, and doing her accounts, and straight away Ha asked if I did those in the nude too and I went so red I couldn’t deny it. I didn’t tell her about the ropes and chains, but then Lily said Mel was the one who sort of got them into. I can never work out with those two which of them would be the dominant one, because from the way Ha talks it sounds like Lily, but then Lily ends up sitting cross-legged on the floor on these kinds of evenings, leant up against Ha’s chair like she’s almost some kind of subject of her queen. I didn’t dare ask anyway.

I even ended up sitting on the floor cross-legged after a while, which is a pretty big deal for a naked woman, and Ha and Lily kept glancing across at me (because it would be impossible not to) but still didn’t get the invite. If I could have taught my vagina to say “come and get me” it couldn’t have been more obvious.

Then the evening ended and I had to go home, so I booked a car (which is extravagant) because I didn’t want to put everything back on and I didn’t want to walk anywhere in just my coat and boots.

Running with Mel was doubly hard after the late night. She asked me about the website again and I told her I hadn’t even looked (which isn’t true), and she said I should go through the archives because there’s lots of interesting stuff there.

I’m not sure if whatever she has planned is working, to be honest.

Just a quick post as I’m going to Ha’s and Lily’s tonight. On the one hand I’ve been fantasising about it turning into some kind of threesome, but on the other I don’t think I could face Ha in the office if it did! I’m ready to burst, though.