I told Ha that I couldn’t work out why Kieran didn’t seem to know I fancied him. I knew she was bound to tell him. Then she made me laugh when she said he’d asked her what size underwear I might be so he could get me something for Thursday, and she said that as far as she knew I didn’t really wear much! I said he had a bit of a cheek expecting me to want underwear from him, but secretly my stomach was churning. I didn’t really know what to say and Ha said I was blushing again. I said I do wear underwear sometimes, if it’s nice… Hopefully she’ll pass that on. I do hope it doesn’t get me something ridiculous, though.

I can’t work Kieran out at all!

Why can’t he flirt like that in person?

Anyway, I went over to his and decided to pull out a few stops and wear the short skirt and long socks that the start-up place liked so much.

The sculpture place was weird, and then we went for coffee and a bit of cake and I wanted to tell Kieran I wasn’t wearing any underwear. He said he hoped I’d kept Thursday free, since it was Valentine’s Day and he’d arrange something nice. I’d completely forgotten – it’s been so long since I did anything on Valentine’s Day!

We kissed but nothing else and I came home. It was nice, but I still feel like we’re overdue something else.

I kept fiddling with my zip all night yesterday and Kieran kept staring at it as I flashed some skin at him but still nothing happened! I wonder if he just doesn’t know what to do. I’d hate if that was the case, because although I like a nice polite man it’s no good if they’re far too wet to notice when I’m giving off every signal in the book.

I came home and unzipped my top and then shut my curtains and didn’t care who might see. Well, they wouldn’t see much except a bit of tummy anyway, since my top was still around my shoulders, but I could but hope.

And then I was so frustrated today that I put my nice underwear on and a big coat (since it was still a bit chilly) and went for a walk, but then it all went a bit wrong when I bumped into a friend from an old job! We chatted in the street for a couple of minutes but I was so scared that she’d guess I was out in not much more than my underwear that I turned down an offer of going for a coffee, although that would have been nice. We’re going to catch up on Tuesday evening for a bit instead.

When I got home I collapsed on the bed in a fit of giggles, still in my underwear and coat. It nearly went badly wrong but it was a lot of fun and I’m glad it happened.

I’m seeing Kieran for a while tonight so I’m writing this in my lunch break. I found an old top what I’d never really worn before in a drawer. I think I bought it was a cardigan as it’s black with long sleeves and a zip right down the front, but it was too small to wear over anything else. Now that I’m feeling a bit more brave I can just wear it over bare skin and it fits perfectly! Plus I’ve lost a bit of blubber from the running and Pilates. What with a dark grey pencil skirt with a zip down the side I was feeling pretty damn slinky, although I did have to wear underwear since I put on tights. It would have been a great day for stockings too… just in case something happens with Kieran later.

Unlike start-up Tuesday, PR Thursday isn’t a very adventurous day. There are lots of nice people there, but most of them are women and they’re always running around being disorganised yet at the same time too important to do their receipts. I guess it keeps me in a job.

When I got back to the office in the afternoon Jo asked me how it was all going and did I mind being out of the office for a day and a half a week. I said I liked being out and she said good, because people liked me and I was good with clients. That made me feel all kinds of warm inside and made my cheeks glow again.

It was baking in our office too, but I couldn’t take my sweater off as I had literally nothing else underneath. I fantasised about it a bit, of course, and then went and tried to flirt with Matthew for a while. The problem was he didn’t know I wasn’t wearing anything underneath so it was so much fun.

The temperature’s improved, but it was Pilates day. I was full of energy when I got home so ended up staying up quite late reading all about exhibitionism on the Internet. (And, yes, looking at the pictures as well.) I found a group based in Chicago called Naked Girls Reading (https://nakedgirlsreading.com/) and I now have a new ambition in life. They got my hopes up when I saw some London events, but they were all years ago. I don’t know if I could concentrate on reading if I was standing naked in front of a room full of people either! I can’t concentrate that well on writing just thinking about it.

It might be cold outside, but it’s warm at the start-up’s office! Long socks and short skirt and a sweater and no underwear whatsoever made me feel great for the day. While I was working I saw one of the guys kept looking at my legs so I fidgeted as much as I dared to let my skirt ride up my thigh. Not too high or I might end up showing a bit more than I’m ready for right now! Also I don’t really fancy him anyway.

It was quite a temperature contrast between indoor and out and in the lift when I came back from lunch I spotted a guy staring at my chest for a second before looking away and realised my nipples were so cold they were forming a perfect contour against my sweater! It was kind of a thrill, but only because he was so embarrassed when I noticed him looking. I even said something about it being cold outside and he mumbled a reply. Little did he know that it wasn’t just my nipples that were cold as despite my big coat the breeze had still somehow found a way up my skirt.

I was feeling pretty horny when I got home so I messaged Kieran, but didn’t get a reply for a couple of hours by which time I’d taken matters into my own hands (quite literally).

I had lunch with Ha today and told her about the conference last Wednesday. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when I told her that I’d not only shared a room with Jo but shared a bed with her! She said she was jealous of both of us and if I got a chance to go again she wanted to come along and she didn’t mind if all three of us had to sleep in the same bed. Then she apologised for making me blush and I hadn’t even realised it was that obvious.

I tried to probe her about what Kieran thought of me and she didn’t really say much, but she said he still liked me and she couldn’t work out why he hadn’t tried to sleep with me yet because she’d told him I had a great body. It made me blush again.

Nothing happened. Again. I wonder what he’s waiting for now. Surely I’ve given him all the right signals? Although I guess wearing a thick jumper and big coat last night didn’t exactly invite him to explore my body.

I went to see my mum today to check her heating and everything was all okay, and she made a roast dinner whilst obvious trying to avoid the subject of “do I have a boyfriend yet” (“or a girlfriend. Either’s fine by me.” lol). She didn’t avoid it completely, of course, and I was evasive. I guess I’ll have to tell her at some point, if it lasts. But now I’m starting to wonder if Kieran’s really that keen anyway.

I’m seeing Kieran later. It’s trying to snow outside, but only the really light stuff that doesn’t settle but just sticks to clothes and gets them all damp. It’s going to mean a lot of layers! Hardly a good start to a possible night of passion. I’m wearing my sexy underwear just in case.