Kieran’s coming over this afternoon again! I can’t wait. I’ve been shopping and I’m going to cook dinner.

Time to get changed into something nice now.

It finally happened! Actually, an awful lot finally happened!

So I met Kieran after work and we went to a very nice restaurant near my place, and between courses he put his hand on mine and it was all nice and coupley and probably made the waiters feel sick. Anyway, he insisted on paying for both of us (and I wasn’t going to stop him) and then he walked me home, and I invited him in! And then things got really interesting.

He’d been carrying a bag around with him all night and when I went and made some tea he produced this gift-wrapped box (probably done by the shop, it was that well wrapped) and inside was a gorgeous set of rich blue lace underwear. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he put his hand on my thigh, and then I think it was the alcohol that made me say I’d go and try it on.

So in my bedroom I still wasn’t sure if I’d go through with it, but I stripped off, put the underwear on, and then my dressing gown over the top, and then I went out and mustered all the courage I could manage and let him see what was inside. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets!

I was a bit too embarrassed to take the dressing gown off completely, but to cut a long story short it came off soon enough and now I’ve done something very naughty (and not just the naughty things we did last night) and had to call in sick for work because Kieran was here until nearly lunchtime.

I’m not going to give you too much detail, but the sex itself wasn’t exactly amazing because we hadn’t really worked each other out (and I haven’t ever really worked any of it out), but he was a gentleman about things so I came two or three times at least last night and this morning and now I miss him already.

Phew!

Even though I’m not actually sick I’m exhausted today… apart from the obvious physical exertion last night, it’s been a long time since I shared a bed with someone so much heavier than me! Sharing with Jo was okay because she didn’t make the room shake every time she fidgeted! Maybe there are advantages to being a lesbian that I’d never thought of before.

Dammit! I wish I’d bought stockings! This would have been the perfect day for them.

Anyway, I put on my best underwear and a blouse and didn’t care who could see the one through the other. Nobody at the PR agency seemed to care anyway. I’m meeting Kieran in a couple of hours anyway.

Will a Pilates class on a Wednesday have a startling effect on my figure by Thursday and make me suddenly more attractive? I doubt it somehow. More likely I’ll just stand up with a groan from muscle ache.

I’m looking forward to seeing what happens tomorrow, though. Kieran still hasn’t told me anything except to keep the evening free.

It was much warmer today (for February at least) so I went back to wearing a blouse and trousers. I think I’ve just about reached the limit of the number of buttons I can leave undone when I’m at the start-up and not end up flashing nipples at everyone!

And then I’d forgotten I was meeting Susan (the old work colleague I’d bumped into on Saturday) after work so I ended up sitting at a bar with her and I’m pretty sure she knew I didn’t have a bra on underneath. Men are pretty bad are spotting these things but women rarely are! I think it wouldn’t have been such a big deal except it wasn’t like the Kate that she thought she knew.

Anyway, I was feeling suddenly much more confident about my new self so I told her about Kieran. It’s not like she knows any of my other friends. She reckoned I’d just have to make the first move myself and stick my hand down his trousers or just strip off the first time we ended up somewhere private together. I know which of those two I feel more like doing, funnily enough…

I had a message from Kieran when I got home checking that I could still make Thursday. I said I thought my diary was clear but maybe something more important might come up. I hope he read it as the joke it was meant to be.

I told Ha that I couldn’t work out why Kieran didn’t seem to know I fancied him. I knew she was bound to tell him. Then she made me laugh when she said he’d asked her what size underwear I might be so he could get me something for Thursday, and she said that as far as she knew I didn’t really wear much! I said he had a bit of a cheek expecting me to want underwear from him, but secretly my stomach was churning. I didn’t really know what to say and Ha said I was blushing again. I said I do wear underwear sometimes, if it’s nice… Hopefully she’ll pass that on. I do hope it doesn’t get me something ridiculous, though.

I can’t work Kieran out at all!

Why can’t he flirt like that in person?

Anyway, I went over to his and decided to pull out a few stops and wear the short skirt and long socks that the start-up place liked so much.

The sculpture place was weird, and then we went for coffee and a bit of cake and I wanted to tell Kieran I wasn’t wearing any underwear. He said he hoped I’d kept Thursday free, since it was Valentine’s Day and he’d arrange something nice. I’d completely forgotten – it’s been so long since I did anything on Valentine’s Day!

We kissed but nothing else and I came home. It was nice, but I still feel like we’re overdue something else.

I kept fiddling with my zip all night yesterday and Kieran kept staring at it as I flashed some skin at him but still nothing happened! I wonder if he just doesn’t know what to do. I’d hate if that was the case, because although I like a nice polite man it’s no good if they’re far too wet to notice when I’m giving off every signal in the book.

I came home and unzipped my top and then shut my curtains and didn’t care who might see. Well, they wouldn’t see much except a bit of tummy anyway, since my top was still around my shoulders, but I could but hope.

And then I was so frustrated today that I put my nice underwear on and a big coat (since it was still a bit chilly) and went for a walk, but then it all went a bit wrong when I bumped into a friend from an old job! We chatted in the street for a couple of minutes but I was so scared that she’d guess I was out in not much more than my underwear that I turned down an offer of going for a coffee, although that would have been nice. We’re going to catch up on Tuesday evening for a bit instead.

When I got home I collapsed on the bed in a fit of giggles, still in my underwear and coat. It nearly went badly wrong but it was a lot of fun and I’m glad it happened.

I’m seeing Kieran for a while tonight so I’m writing this in my lunch break. I found an old top what I’d never really worn before in a drawer. I think I bought it was a cardigan as it’s black with long sleeves and a zip right down the front, but it was too small to wear over anything else. Now that I’m feeling a bit more brave I can just wear it over bare skin and it fits perfectly! Plus I’ve lost a bit of blubber from the running and Pilates. What with a dark grey pencil skirt with a zip down the side I was feeling pretty damn slinky, although I did have to wear underwear since I put on tights. It would have been a great day for stockings too… just in case something happens with Kieran later.

Unlike start-up Tuesday, PR Thursday isn’t a very adventurous day. There are lots of nice people there, but most of them are women and they’re always running around being disorganised yet at the same time too important to do their receipts. I guess it keeps me in a job.

When I got back to the office in the afternoon Jo asked me how it was all going and did I mind being out of the office for a day and a half a week. I said I liked being out and she said good, because people liked me and I was good with clients. That made me feel all kinds of warm inside and made my cheeks glow again.

It was baking in our office too, but I couldn’t take my sweater off as I had literally nothing else underneath. I fantasised about it a bit, of course, and then went and tried to flirt with Matthew for a while. The problem was he didn’t know I wasn’t wearing anything underneath so it was so much fun.