I ended up going out to get lunch with Matthew. It wasn’t on purpose, we just left the office at the same time. I was feeling suddenly brave so I asked him if he was coming out for a drink this evening. I felt a bit sick when he told me he was going to meet his fiancée. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend and just said “ok, another time,” in a very pathetic way.

I didn’t go out for a drink either and I was surprised I was actually disappointed when I got home. I think I ate too much chocolate.

Ha asked me if I’d started running yet. I said obviously not and pinched the roll around my midriff. She said if I hadn’t started by next week there’d be trouble.

I bumped into Jo in the stairwell and just the thought of the dream I’d had of her made me blush.

My mind is well and truly messed up, as I dreamt that Jo and Matthew were getting married! Ha was going to be a bridesmaid and I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. It didn’t make me feel good as I went to work!

It was also Pilates day, which meant sports bra and sturdy underwear.

It was weirdly warm and humid today, so I went back to boots and skirt. But then I did something a bit more daring and just had a new sweater on my top half. The wool felt really nice on my nipples.

The problem was that the office heating was on overdrive from the week before. It didn’t really seem to work on a thermostat and someone said building maintenance were the only ones who could turn it down. I was baking hot as I sat at my desk and was fanning myself with a notepad when Matthew came over and told me about it. He suggested I should take my sweater off and it made my stomach do backflips… I had to admit I had nothing on underneath. I don’t think he knew I meant nothing at all, but he said he doubted anyone would mind and it made me blush. I said maybe if it was just us in the office I would, and then I blushed even more, and so did he… I can’t believe I said that.

I felt really shy today at work, as if somehow someone would find out about my dream on Saturday night. But I wore one of my new tops, and long socks and a skirt again. The novelty of no underwear has worn off a bit.

I told Ha about Pilates at lunchtime and how I really wanted a flat tummy. She said I should take up running to burn more calories, if I wanted to… not that I was fat or anything… Thankfully she’s too nice and we both giggled about her putting her foot in it. Anyway, she said she did 5k runs a couple of times a week and then she lifted her blouse up and my god was her waist thin. It was the best sales pitch ever.

Of course, procrastination got the better of me and I’ll have to buy some trainers and running gear at the weekend so I can’t possibly start today. Which is a relief.

I had the most embarrassing dream last night. I was in Jo’s office but completely naked, and I had to explain why I’d missed a deadline and she said we’d have to go and explain it to the client, and then I followed her through the office with everyone staring at me. And then suddenly we were standing on the tube and all these clothed bodies were pressed against me and for some reason Jo put her hand on my breast… I was so horny when I woke up there was only one thing for it, of course.

It’s weird because I’ve never dreamt about a woman before, not like that. I thought I’d be too old to go through that kind of a phase.

I seem to spend every Saturday shopping for new clothes now, which is ironic given that I’m wearing less… But I made today an adventurous day, so I wore long socks and a shorter skirt. They only just overlapped, and I flashed a bit of thigh when I sat on the tube. I saw some guy looking and pretended not to notice, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Thankfully there were no mishaps and I kept my knees tight together.

I was only buying a selection of new tops anyway, including some sweaters and cardigans. Winter is coming and all that.

I was in such a good mood today I tried the long socks for the first time. With no underwear. I had a long-ish skirt, of course, and ankle boots, and then a light blue blouse, and no bra, and then a cardigan and coat.

Jo sent a message to all the women in the office asking if we went out for evening drinks. Helen on reception replied that we don’t often but she’d like to.

It was funny, because suddenly more of the men wanted to come out too. I get the feeling they’re looking at us all a little differently now that Jo’s around, and it’s suddenly like we’ve all had a promotion (just without the pay rise).

I only stayed for a couple of drinks and spent most of the time enchanted by Jo’s anecdotes of past work experiences and what it was like when she was “younger”. I think with the long socks clinging to my thighs I was a little bit overwhelmed by it all.

I took Jo at her word and for the first time ever I didn’t wear a blouse to work. Now I would love that to mean that I didn’t wear anything, but I put a nice top on instead. It wasn’t low cut or anything, but I just felt… better. Maybe it’s more feminine or something, but I smiled at a guy on the tube and he smiled back, and then I was too embarrassed and went back to my book.

Oh, and I wore trousers too. We’d been allowed to wear trousers before, of course, but somehow grey skirts had become office uniform.  Jo said she liked my outfit and my heart fluttered. What an idiot!

I went for lunch with Ha and we talked about our new boss. I wasn’t the only one who wore something different too, and Ha had a lovely green blouse that almost matched her eyes. We both agreed that although we’d have to see how things went with Jo over time it was definitely good to have a woman at senior level.

Weirdly, on the way home I felt sexier as I was, covered pretty much from head to toe, than at any time in the past couple of months. It’s wonderful what empowerment feels like.

I met Jo, the new partner, today. I was worried that she might be really pushy or something but she talked about how important it was that all the women in the office had someone to make their case at senior level and she had a lovely smile and all of a sudden I seem to have a crush on my boss. (She’s not really my boss, because I report to Brian, but it’s close enough.)

She asked if I’d been told I had to wear a blouse and skirt to work every day, and I said someone had told me when I started, but then I turned red as I wondered if she could work out I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. But she just said as long as I was smart and professional I could wear what I liked.

Pilates was exhausting again.