I can’t stop thinking about last night. I can’t believe it happened. Also, when I saw Ha today, I can’t believe how dirty I feel, not just because I spent last night masturbating naked on the floor in front of a near stranger, but because I still haven’t mentioned any of this to her. Not even the park runs.

I guess it’s not really her business, but then I feel like we nearly shared something on Friday night too. I wonder if she’d feel the same way about me if she knew. But then, she’s in a relationship, so why should it matter?

Why is everything so complicated.

It was another night of firsts.

For one, I realised that because I was heading to Mel’s this was the second working day in a row that I was leaving the office in nothing but a coat and boots! At least this time nobody tried to drag me out for a drink first.

When I got there she buzzed me in and I went up to the seventh floor, stood outside her door, took my coat off and knocked. At least I was getting used to waiting outside in the nude by now, but it still felt like an age before she opened the door and let me in. I’m hyper-sensitive to every sound from the lift shaft or stairs while I’m waiting.

Mel was wearing a black cat suit that almost looked like it had been painted on, so sculpted was her figure, and somehow I felt incredibly frumpy as I followed her into her apartment, put my coat and back to one side and awkwardly took my boots off. It was only when I made it inside and stood opposite Mel, feeling very powerless in my nakedness, that I realised she was wearing a pair of ankle boots. They were black and polished with about an inch of tiny stiletto heel and she absolutely towered above me.

She still seemed annoyed at me and we went straight into the workout, although instead of Mel sitting cross-legged beside me as usual she pulled up a chair and directed me from on high. It made me feel even vulnerable as she looked down at me, occasionally correcting my position, as she did, with a nudge of a hip here and a tuck of the pelvis there. Every piece of minimal contact felt sent a jolt of electricity through my body and I realised just how much I craved being touched by another human being. Yet Mel was being very meagre with her caresses.

And then came the second first (if you know what I mean).

I was lying on the floor, stretched out with my arms above me and my toes pointing, in a futile effort to reduce the inevitable DOMS (which apparently is delayed onset muscle soreness) that I’d be feeling tomorrow. And as Mel loomed over me, her knees spread wide with her elbows on top and her chin resting on clenched fists, all I could think about was how much I really wanted her to touch my body, as she had so many weeks before.

Instead she said something like: “You haven’t progressed as quickly as I’d hoped.” Which was a blow to my moral to say the least.

Yet I had a one-track mind, and because tension had been the thing that had triggered her close attention last time I said: “Sorry, I just feel like I’ve got a lot of tension in my body this week.”

She looked me up and down, and I really couldn’t tell what she thought of my body, which, it has to be said, will always pale in comparison to her own figure (as well as being distinctly pale in contrast to her beautiful brown), but I also wouldn’t care if she’d just give me what I wanted.

Instead she asked: “Do you masturbate?”

I was a bit flabbergasted by the question, because it’s just not something we English talk about. Instinctively I wanted to say “no”, but we’d both know it was a lie, which begged the question as to why she’d asked. So I just nodded and said “Sometimes”, which I hoped hid just how often I did masturbate.

I was hoping that would be the final trigger for her to do something, but she just said: “Show me.”

I think if I wasn’t flat on the floor already I might have collapsed, because I just didn’t know what to do. I said “What, now?” and she just said “Yes” and continued to stare down at me.

I mumbled something about “well, I,” and drew one hand down from above my head, slid it over my pelvis and between my legs and I can’t really tell if it felt pleasurable because I’ve never been so self-conscious.

I stopped after a token rub and Mel said “Is that it?”

I said: “If I’m in the mood then I don’t need much else.” I could feel my cheeks burning.

She said: “Then carry on, because I can tell from looking at you that you’re in the mood.”

I asked: “Now?” again, and she just said “Yes” and stared at me.

And that in itself was enough of a turn-on to get past the embarrassment. I slipped my fingers back between my legs, and this time it definitely was pleasurable. It really doesn’t take me much and I think I have a very easily accessible clitoris (sorry if that’s too much detail), and without realising it my breathing was already much faster.

Mel just sat there with her head on her chin looking down at me, watching my hands, and usually I’d have my eyes closed, maybe imagining that someone, or more than one person, was watching me, but this time I didn’t have to imagine it.

I put my other hand on my breast and squeezed, and tried to imagine it was Mel’s hands on me rather than my own. But even having her eyes on me were enough and I think it took me maybe two to three minutes before I felt the orgasm coming.

My legs were half parted now, no longer stretched with toes pointing, and I was rubbing faster, stroking my breast with my free hand, and all the while watching Mel as she stared at the hand between my legs, watching my hips pulsing gently against the floor.

I came a few seconds later, and as it happened I couldn’t help but close my eyes, but I knew she was still watching me and that made it even more intense. Then, as it faded, embarrassment took over, and opening my eyes now seemed terrifying, because I feared looking up and seeing a look of disdain at how I had subjugated and demeaned myself so easily.

Finally I did open my eyes and there was even the hint of a smile on Mel’s lips, and I couldn’t have been happier, despite my undignified position on the floor, still breathing deeply and with my legs slightly parted.

“Feel better?” she asked. I nodded.

“Good,” she said, “But just like your Pilates, and your running, I think we’ve got things to work on.”

Now that I’m home I’m still wondering what she meant and what might happen next week.

I’ve had a very quiet weekend since leaving Ha’s: shopping, washing, cleaning etc. Although cleaning in the nude does it make it slightly more fun.

Interesting thing, though, was looking across the road this evening I’m sure I saw the guy walking around with nothing on, and I’m also pretty sure he knew I could see. I don’t know whether his partner was in at the same time or not, so maybe that’s something I need to keep an eye on because I don’t want him to think we’re flirting with each other. (Well, not too much anyway.)

I’ve texted Mel to ask if we’re still on for tomorrow evening and she said “of course”. She still sounds annoyed, though.

Last night wasn’t quite as expected, but it was very interesting to say the least.

When it was time to leave Ha came by my desk and I got my things. I’d had half a thought to strip down to my coat and go back to her place like that but I couldn’t go through with it. But then on the way out I had the sudden urge so I asked Ha to wait for a minute and headed into the bathroom, got out of my skirt and top, put my coat back on and came out to meet her. I was already buzzing because there were still a few people in the office.

Then Helen came out of the office with one of the interns and asked if we wanted to come for a quick drink. I couldn’t work out how to say no, and Ha said “yes” very quickly anyway, so the four of us went off to the pub with me in boots and my coat and not a stitch more!

I was so self-conscious that I ended up quite giggling with a martini, and all the while worried about how tightly I’d managed to keep my coat lapels closed, but I really don’t think Helen guessed. At least we were standing the whole time so I didn’t have to worry about the bottom half flapping about too much.

Luckily Helen had to go off to meet a friend so I left with Ha, still feeling very light-headed from the whole thing. Then we took the bus to Ha’s, and that was packed so more standing up, and finally we were at her place and it almost felt like home when I was through the front door.

Ha took off her coat and as casually as I could I took off mine, expecting to see her shocked that I had nothing on underneath, and she just said “I was wondering if you’d mention it before you got here.” And I guess she knew all along. I asked her why she made me go for a drink with Helen and the intern if she knew, but I needn’t have: she just thought it would be fun.

She actually stood and watched as I took off my boots, which made me feel rather horny already, and then I followed her into the sitting room. I was expecting to see Lily waiting for us and tutting about why we were late but I couldn’t see her. Then I had a shock when I asked Ha and she told me that Lily was away with work for the weekend.

I hadn’t even considered that it might be just the two of us, and if I had then maybe I would have worn something after all! But I guess I’m committed now and putting my skirt and blouse back on would make me look a little silly, especially since Ha’s seen my body so many times now.

I asked Ha if Lily knew I was here and she said she’d mentioned it, so I guess that was okay.

Anyway, she ordered us a Thai takeaway and got out some more wine, and then when the knock on the door came Ha coolly said: “Do you mind getting that?” And emboldened by the wine and the way the evening had gone so far, I went to the door and opened it a crack, just enough that I think the delivery guy knew exactly why I was hiding, and took the bag of food from him. I wish I’d opened it a bit more now.

I was even more giggly when I took it back to Ha and we sat and ate at her dining table, her in a skirt and blouse and tights and me in nothing whatsoever.

I can tell if Ha was being more flirty than usual with me or if I was just more sensitive, but yet again I felt like I was on a first date with someone, and we even got as far as Ha putting food into my mouth with her chopsticks getting me to taste things and guess what they were. It was the sexiest thing I’ve done for quite a long time.

We went back and sat on the sofa afterwards, with yet more wine, both curled up at either end and not quite touching, and I loved it every time she sneaked a look at my body. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the awkwardness of having to lean across the sofa I might have ended up kissing her, it felt like it was going that well.

But we stayed with just talking, though, and then I was glad we had because Ha got a text from Lily. It was just a simple “How’s it going” message, but I did wonder if Lily was checking she wasn’t up to mischief. Ha replied with “Just chatting on the sofa”, and then Lily asked if I was naked.

Instead of typing a reply Ha sat up and got me to do the same and as we were sat right up against each other she started a call with Lily. Although it turned out it was a video call, so that answered the question of if I was naked at least! I don’t know if I’ve actually been naked at the end of a video chat before, so that’s a first.

We had a bit of a laugh and giggle with Lily and then hung up because she had to go to bed for an early start. She ended with “and make sure to behave yourselves.”.

The call ended and for a moment we looked at each other and I’m sure we both felt the tension and it went really quiet. At least Ha is loyal to Lily otherwise who knows what might have happened and I’d have felt so guilty about it.

I hadn’t realised how late it had gotten and said I really should go, but I’d already missed the last train home so it would have to be buses. I really didn’t fancy it as we could hear the wind and rain outside, but Ha said I could stay over and it went silent again because I really did wonder if she was making a proposal of some kind. She left it for a second and then she laughed and said they had a spare room so I didn’t have to worry about sharing a bed and “catching lesbian off of her” as she put it.

Anyway, she showed me my room, lent me a toothbrush, then we had a quick hug on the landing, which somehow felt really friendly but also a bit more than friendly at the same time. Then she went to bed herself.

As I came back from the bathroom I could hear a buzzing coming from her room and at first I wondered if she had an electric toothbrush, but then I heard a little moan and it struck me: she had a vibrator going in there! It was such a huge turn-on to think of her pleasuring herself in the next room that I did the same, wondering if I should make a bit of noise too and half-hoping that if I did I might get a secret little visit. Somehow, if it was in the dark, it might not count as infidelity, or at least I told myself that.

Nothing of the sort happened, of course, and I was asleep quite quickly.

I was rather thick-headed when I woke up the next morning, but Ha had left me a towel so I padded to the shower and felt a little better afterwards. On the way back I could smell coffee from downstairs, and realised that my only clothes were also down there. It felt a little weird walking into Ha’s kitchen already nude and she gave a little smile when she saw me (as she was in a night-dress and gown, although both were quite short and more than a little bit sexy). I sat on a stool and she gave me coffee and then we had some muesli and fruit.

I think the conversation was naturally running out by that point, so I said I had better get home because I had things to do. The weather has brightened up today but it’s still pretty fresh so I put my skirt and blouse ready to leave. Ha said she was going to miss having a naked woman around the place, and I said she should suggest that to Lily sometime. She said it would be more likely the other way around, and without thinking I said “make sure to invite me round if that happens” and it even made Ha blush. But she assured me that it wouldn’t, which I think is a big shame.

We had another hug on the doorstep (although being clothed it’s nowhere near as good) and then I left.

On the way home I checked my phone and saw a message from Mel: “Didn’t see you at the park run this morning.” Somehow she doesn’t need to say any more: I can feel her disapproval already! But I don’t want her to be mad at me, or decide I’m not worth bothering with, so I replied to tell her I’d stayed over at a friend’s. I still don’t have anything back from her so I think she’s still not particularly happy with me skipping my routine. Which I guess is working, because despite feeling a bit rough I’m about to go out for a run anyway.

It’s only lunchtime and I still have a mountain of work to do, and I’m going around to Ha’s and Lily’s later so I need to clear it all! I’m really looking forward to sitting around in the nude with some friends again, and maybe teasing them a bit with it. It’s been quite a while since we had a girl night together.