I was still aching today, but I powered through it (by sitting at my desk and not moving much). I spent a lot of time feeling my stomach looking for muscles through the fat. There must be something in there that’s causing all of this aching, but I’m damned if I could find it. I guess one exercise class isn’t really enough to turn me into a supermodel… or even a standard model.

I went out for a drink after work but there wasn’t really anyone I wanted to show off to so it didn’t last long.

Oh jeez my legs and stomach ache from that Pilates class last night! I was very much not feeling sexy today, even with the boost of being able to skip the underwear again! I was so zoned out I nearly missed this guy on the tube trying to take a peek down my blouse.

For some reason I was googling stuff about exhibitionism when I got home and found a mug that said “If it requires pants or a bra it’s not happening today” on it. Might get it as a reward for myself sometime… I just need to choose a milestone.

(Mug here so I don’t forget it: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZCDZ45G/)

Pilates might actually be a setback, as there’s no way I’m doing that without underwear. Not with those leggings and that top clinging to me. Since I went straight from work it was a pretty standard day.

Pilates was massively hard, though. There were only twelve of us and I hid as close to the back as I could, but honestly I was too busy sweating and collapsing to even look at my fellow classmates, and from what I can tell they were the same – even the ones that managed to keep going. I’m glad there were plenty of fellow strugglers like me, though. No pain no gain! (I just hope it’s not lots of pain for no gain.)

I’ve decided that the thing that’s holding me back is worrying about how my body looks, so I’ve signed up for a Pilates class. Once I get the flat tummy back I had five years ago I’ll have no excuse. (Yeah, right.)

No underwear to work. Pretty standard now. Although I reckon Helen on reception still shows more cleavage than I do. And her skirts are waaaaayy shorter.

What is it about where I live? I looked out of the back window and in one of the gardens that backs onto mine there was a woman standing there smoking a fag in nothing but her underwear. I reckon she’s in her thirties, and basically didn’t seem to care less who could see her. I feel such a wimp that I’m terrified about doing even half that!

So I went and got half-dressed into my underwear (which felt weird after a week without it) and went back to the kitchen, but by that time she was gone. I was disappointed that nobody had seen my moment of bravery so I went into the front room but then I saw someone in the flat opposite and in a fit of panic dropped to my knees and crawled out of the room so they couldn’t see me.

Lovely weather today! I wore my shorter skirt – the one I’d gotten two weeks ago – and a low cut top, and it felt totally amazing to the tube and feeling so free. Although I didn’t dare sit down as the skirt pulls up just above the knee then.

And I discovered a totally new buzz: shopping for clothes without any underwear! I was completely naked in the changing room as I tried things on, and I could even see through to the rest of the store down the gap at the edge of the curtain. I tried on so many things, and bought more than I should… my credit card can take it, and I get paid at the end of next week.

Who books meetings on a Friday? Boring meetings and boring clothing. I didn’t do much when I got home either.

I’m pretty sure Matthew worked out I wasn’t wearing a bra today! I was at my desk with just a normal blouse on, but the thing is that I’ve gotten so used to fiddling with my buttons that I was doing exactly that when he appeared beside me. I saw where his eyes went as I spun on my chair, and then he made as if he was looking at a spot two feet above my head! It was hilarious! And as I was talking to him I didn’t even do the button back up, because I couldn’t work out how. This has been the best day so far!

I felt like I had to make up for yesterday so I went all-in: v-neck blouse and nothing underneath. But I took my cardigan with me just in case.

Ha asked me where I got the blouse and I felt very self-conscious as she peered at it, half expecting her to point and shout “you’re not wearing a bra!” Obviously she didn’t do that, and I told her where I’d gotten it. She promised that if she bought one it would be a different colour so we wouldn’t come into the office wearing the same thing.