Last night was a lot of fun. It was only me and Ellie for a while in the pub, and it sort of did feel like a date. I think I was feeling very flirty, and she looked like she’d made an effort for the night too and had a thin blouse on and, I know for sure, nothing underneath it. It was windy outside but warm in the pub and somehow her clothes just seem to float over her skin as if they’ll fly away any minute.

Well, we had a couple of drinks and she suggested going back to hers and ordering a pizza and drinking some more wine. It wasn’t far, and she said her flatmates were out so we had the place to ourselves until late. And that’s when my dare was announced: I had to open the door to the pizza guy with a towel around me and contrive it to drop at some point and pretend to panic about it.

The thing is, it was almost too easy. The fun part was that as soon as we ordered the pizza I said I better get ready, so I stripped out of my work clothes and I curled up in an armchair naked while we chatted. I still don’t know what Ellie thinks of that. I mean, she must not mind, but does she find it exciting, or just silly fun? Actually I don’t know either. It’s a bit of both.

There was a knock at the door and Ellie handed me a towel and I very loosely wrapped it around myself, holding it closed with my hands, and pretended to peer around as if I didn’t want anyone outside to see me. In reality I wanted everyone outside to see me.

Then I opened it a bit more so the guy could pass the pizza boxes through and I took them with one hand, but we hadn’t paid yet, so as I crouched down to pick the money up off the table I let the towel slip and it just totally dropped to the floor.

He didn’t know where to look. It was brilliant. I sort of half hid behind the pizza boxes but just handed the money over, with Ellie giggling out of sight, She said she couldn’t believe I went through with it, and it made me wonder how far I could push her with my dare if she thought that was a big deal. I mean: it was just one guy seeing me naked! I guess a year ago it might have been a big deal for me too.

Anyway, I obviously stayed naked for the rest of the evening as we ate pizza, and I was starting to wonder whether the evening was going to go anywhere. I didn’t really know what I wanted, and I certainly didn’t know what Ellie wanted. We were just laughing and talking.

I was feeling bolder after a while so I said next time she’d have to come to mine and she’d be the one answering the door in a towel. She said “Is that my dare?” and the look in her eyes made me think she was up for it, which meant I wanted to push her further and I said “It’s far too easy. I’ll think of something else.” So now I have to do just that.

Then at some point she said “you better get going if you want to get the last train”, and I looked at the clock and realised she was right, and that answered the big question: nothing was happening.

I felt a bit sad as I dressed, put my coat on and left. I got home quite late.

And as a result, I missed the park run this morning. Then I had a message from Mel. It was something like “Hey, hope nothing’s too weird between us. Didn’t see you at the park this morning.” I replied saying I was just out too late. She said “oh, good” and asked if I was going to come around to hers on Monday again. I said “absolutely” with a smiley :), and then “Looking forward to it again.”

Then about five minutes later another message came: “I’ve been thinking. To save some time, it would be better if you undressed before you knocked on my door.”

You could have knocked me down with a feather! I asked Mel if that meant getting undressed in the corridor, and she said she was going to make it a rule that I could wear no more than a coat and shoes in the building, and at most shoes in her apartment, so I had better get out of my things at work.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a message that made me so horny.

I replied with “yes, miss” and my skin tingling.

I’m meeting Ellie after work, heading over to a pub near her. I better not drink too much if I want to do the park run tomorrow, but I’m quite excited at seeing her again. Since this week seems to have decided to be the week I become a lesbian (although I’m still not sure about that!) I almost feel like this is a date night. And as soon as I think that I get butterflies in my stomach, because what if I think it is but Ellie doesn’t? Or what if I act like it is but it’s just a phase I’m going through?

Confusion reigns in the mind of Kate.

Still nothing from Mel, and I still don’t know what I’d say if I messaged her. I was beginning to feel flirty again so I messaged Ellie asking her if she’d thought of a dare yet. I don’t really care what it is, but after I do something (because I’m sure I will) then it’s my turn to dare her again, and that’s what’ll really be fun.

I’m doing all kinds of questioning of my sexuality now too. I keep looking at all the other women in the office and wondering if I fancy them. I can honestly say that most of them are no, even though they might be very pretty, although it does explain my crush on Jo.

On the other hand, I had a bit of a flirt with Matthew and that was still fun. I’m so confused.

At “proper” Pilates tonight all I could think of was improper Pilates on Monday. It made me horny throughout, and made me realise that even though I have no idea what happened I want it to happen again. I just never imagined that I’d ever have another woman touch me that way.

Ha said I was acting a bit strangely today, and I guess I was. I feel like she might be able to guess something if I started talking about anything, which is silly.