Exhibitionist Diary – Monday 3rd February 2020

Standard

It’s almost a routine now: finish work, go to the toilet, undress, put my coat and boots back on, walk to Mel’s, climb the stairs, take off my coat, knock on the door and wait.

There was no sign of a neighbour today, and Mel answered a little more quickly than usual so I didn’t have to stand in the corridor in the nude for quite so long.

Mel looked like she was dressed for business in a tight black body suit that covered her from head to toe and I felt even more naked as I took my boots off. Then as we went into her office she picked up yet another object in a seemingly endless supply of bondage equipment and began to fit me into it as we talked generally about how my week had been.

It’s very surreal, to be saying you don’t feel like your life is going anywhere as someone puts a collar around your neck. At least it had a soft lining, but there was a long rod that went out horizontally either side and my wrists went into cuffs at the ends. I’ve seen the kind of thing when I once watched the movie Secretary (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/) (which is one hot movie!).

So imagine being in that, but naked, and you can probably imagine how exposed I felt. Mel said she likes them because it makes a woman keep her arms away from her body when there’s nowhere to tie her to the ceiling! Plus it makes sure the back stays straight, but I don’t think posture really has a lot to do with it any more. Thankfully she thinks it’s too impractical to ask me to work like that (unlike Secretary!). Just to finish it off, she added the metal ankle cuffs and medium length chain I’d been in before. They only restrict my movement a little but just feeling the cold metal against my skin makes me tingle.

Then things turned serious, despite how I was sitting, and Mel said from now on we’d be more structured about things. She took out a notepad and said I had to tell her something that went well last week, talk about challenges, and then set my priorities for the next two weeks. I wondered what part Mel played in this, since I had to do it all! But I guess the point is for her to help me, not to come up with solutions.

I struggled with what went well and came up with setting work for Rachel and Tim (which was kind of a success, I guess), but the immediate challenge was doing that and maintaining my own workload, and trying to move forwards.

Then Mel said it was interesting that despite sitting here naked and in bondage that all I talked about was work! So I admitted that the Sunday night in the pub was a kind of success, since I was down to wearing nothing but my underwear in a very public place. But a challenge I had was seeing people with partners when I had even less than I had last year.

We came to action items: with work it was to write down how much time I spent on managing people against my own work. And with relationships I had to visualise how I saw myself in five years’ time, and later we’d work out how to get there. That sounded quite hard to do, and Mel said that that was part of the problem, because I didn’t necessarily want what I thought I wanted (which is what everyone else seems to have).

Then Mel suddenly stood up and told me to follow her into the other room. I could walk in the chains, but I had to go through the doorway sideways in the yoke, and I felt very silly standing in the middle of her sitting room with my arms out and my hands at head height. She stood close to me and squeezed my upper arm with her fingers and said “You’ve leaned down quite a bit since we first met,” which I took as a compliment, and then she put her hand on my breast and said “And your tits have shrunk too.” I felt so embarrassed, which is silly given my situation, which should have already been embarrassing enough.

And the worse thing was she took her hand away almost straight away, because if she’d just had a good old grope at least I’d have gotten something out of it. Instead she just walked slowly around me, as if sizing me up to either buy or sell. Then to top it off she took out her phone and I was the centrepiece of three more photos.

After that she unfastened the cuffs and collar and put the yoke to one side, then the ankle cuffs, and said she’d send me the images and if I was brave enough to post them online (in the same place as last time) then I could relieve myself as I wish.

Funnily enough, I don’t know if it’s much worse than posting the ones that are already there, but it feels like an act of defiance not to. So now I’m at home, naked again, and very, very frustrated.

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