Operation flirt was planned to start today, but my legs were a bit stiff from the running. Still, donning ankle boots and long socks, and a skirt that only just came over my knee, and with a nice clingy top with a bit of a plunging neckline to complete the picture, I set off to work. Not that anyone on the tube would know any of this as I wore my winter coat.

Anyway, I made up a random reason to go and see Matthew this morning, and as I perched on the edge of his desk I managed to push my skirt up a little, just enough to show a bit of thigh. I saw him look down, and then away, and it was such a thrill. Now I just need to find someone single, that I like, that might like me etc etc because with no knickers on I am literally read to go at a moment’s notice lol!

Running is really hard work! And not at all sexy! I need more sports bras.

I was only following an NHS podcast and there’s hardly any running involved, with lots of walking in between, but my legs ache now. I was out early(ish) for Sunday and there were other runners about (and they were actually running), and when I got back I had a shower and then ended up collapsing on the sofa and just lay there, naked and tired and watching a Sunday morning cooking programme.

I hadn’t pulled the curtains so when I finally got around to moving I peered out of the window and saw my neighbours opposite. I had to crawl out of the front room so they couldn’t see me! Which is silly, since it’s my own flat: why can’t I be naked in it if I want?

Anyway, I made a decision today: now I knew Matthew was unavailable, I would flirt with him as freely as if he were my best and gayest friend who would never in a million years be interested. It would be good practice.

Retail therapy might be the best cure for a lovesick heart (and it’s not like I was even that hot on Matthew anyway), but shopping for running shoes really isn’t it. I was in trousers and a top and no underwear and they asked me to go on a treadmill to check my gait and recommend the right trainers for me. I’ve never been on a treadmill before and as well as hanging on for half of it my boobs were bouncing everywhere. There are times when underwear really makes a lot of sense.

Anyway, between those and leggings and running tops I came away about three hundred pounds poorer. I’ll go out and try the new gear tomorrow, I promise.

I ended up going out to get lunch with Matthew. It wasn’t on purpose, we just left the office at the same time. I was feeling suddenly brave so I asked him if he was coming out for a drink this evening. I felt a bit sick when he told me he was going to meet his fiancée. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend and just said “ok, another time,” in a very pathetic way.

I didn’t go out for a drink either and I was surprised I was actually disappointed when I got home. I think I ate too much chocolate.

Ha asked me if I’d started running yet. I said obviously not and pinched the roll around my midriff. She said if I hadn’t started by next week there’d be trouble.

I bumped into Jo in the stairwell and just the thought of the dream I’d had of her made me blush.

My mind is well and truly messed up, as I dreamt that Jo and Matthew were getting married! Ha was going to be a bridesmaid and I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. It didn’t make me feel good as I went to work!

It was also Pilates day, which meant sports bra and sturdy underwear.